Ok, this is for anybody out there who feels the urge to send me a
forward. DO NOT SEND ME FORWARDS! I am not your friend, heck,
my real life friends know better than to send me forwards. I don't
care what the forward is about, 99% of the time it's just garbage
and I think you should read the following, hoping you'll never
send out a forward again.
If anyone out there ever sends me a forward again,
I am going to block your email address. This means that if you
ever send me another email that actually has to do with my site,
I won't get it, and it's your loss. I just want to say that this
has been going on for months now, so it's not just the people who sent
me the virus warning (so to those people, don't feel too bad, I'm really
mad at some people from months back).
Email Facts O'Life
1. Big companies don't do business via chain letter. Bill Gates is not
giving you $1000, and Disney is not giving you a free vacation.
There is no baby food company issuing class-action checks. You
can relax; there is no need to pass it on "just in case it's true".
Furthermore, just because someone said in the message, four
generations back, that "we checked it out and it's legit", does not
actually make it true.
2. There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No one is waking up
in a bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a friend swears it
happened to their cousin. If you are hellbent on believing the kidney-
theft ring stories, please see:
http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm
And I quote: "The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued
requests for actual victims of organ thieves to come forward and tell
their stories. None have." That's "none" as in "zero". Not even your
friend's cousin.
3. Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200 cookie recipe. And
even if they do, we all have it. And even if you don't, you can get a
copy at: http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html Then, if you make
the recipe, decide the cookies are that awesome, feel free to pass
the recipe on.
4. We all know all 500 ways to drive your roommates crazy, irritate
co-workers gross out bathroom stall neighbors and creep out people
on an elevator. We also know exactly how many engineers, college
students, Usenet posters and people from each and every world
ethnicity it takes to change a lightbulb.
5. Even if the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) DID contain plutonium
that went to particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you REALLY
think this information would reach the public via an AOL chain-
letter?
6. There is no "Good Times" virus. In fact, you should never, ever,
ever forward any email containing any virus warning unless you first
confirm it at an actual site of an actual company that actually deals
with virii. Try: http://www.norton.com/ or http://www.symantec.com.
And even then, don't forward it. We don't care.
7. If your CC: list is regularly longer than the actual content of
your message, you're probably going to Hell.
8. If you're using Outlook, IE, or Netscape to write email, turn off
the "HTML encoding." [hear, hear!] Those of us on Unix shells can't
read it, and don't care enough to save the attachment and then view
it with a web browser, since you're probably forwarding us a copy
of the Neiman Marcus Cookie Recipe anyway.
9. If you still absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation message
from a friend, at least have the decency to trim the eight miles of
headers showing everyone else who's received it over the last 6
months. It sure wouldn't hurt to get rid of all the ">" that begin each
line [I do that!]. Besides, if it has gone around that many times -
we've probably already seen it.
10.Craig Shergold in England is not dying of cancer or anything else
at this time and would like everyone to stop sending him their
business cards. He apparently is also no longer a "little boy" either.
Nor can you get into the Guinness Book of World Records this way
anymore (the rules were rewritten specifically to prevent this.)
I got this from my friend's website
(www.chronosquare.com), although I
do not know who originally came up with it. Anyways, visit my friend's site
when you've got the chance, there's a lot of other humour stories, and
be sure to check out Project Ether.
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