Chapter 10 – Reflections


Another overreaction.

Vegeta had experienced quite a few of them over the past few weeks; he scolded himself for acting so poorly yet again. ‘And in front of the onna!’ his mind chastised him.

Abruptly stopping Akuma, Vegeta released a long breath as he took in his surroundings. Unconsciously he had directed his horse to a location that had been very much present in his mind this last week.

Satisfied with the unintended destination, Vegeta dismounted Akuma and slowly walked over to the lake where he had met the cherub that had so effortlessly fused her way into the center of his life. She who healed his pain when nothing else could, she who gave him a new purpose, and she who taught him to trust, and even love.

Vegeta leisurely lowered his body to rest on the same rock he had spotted Bulma shivering on those eight years ago. He sighed at the bittersweet memory. As beautiful and pure as she was in appearance, the tragedy she so blatantly suffered was soul wrenching. To this day she has never confessed to him the true events leading up to his finding her. The story of her being thrown from her horse, and the Saiya-jin boys stealing her clothing was never an account he believed. But, being a private person himself, he would not dare pursue the subject with her. Her past was as she always said, her own. He had no real right to ask the truth; even if that ignorance tore him up inside, he vowed never to lower himself to violating her privacy.

A sigh escaped Vegeta’s throat as his normally ‘kinglike’ demeanor slouched into an almost defeated appearance. The day Vegeta collected Bulma, in recompense for the wealth her father had stolen from his people, he had believed he was saving her from a fate such a gentle creature should never be subjected to; and for the years after, he had believed in his success. Bulma had flourished, away from her father. Her spirit was wild and free, longing to be released, and when it was, she blossomed. She had quickly taken to riding, archery, and swordplay. The latter two Vegeta was adamantly opposed to, but as begrudgingly as he must admit, she knew how to manipulate him. It was all too easy for her to get him to bend to her will, but it was a power she had earned by bringing such unintentional joy into his life. Whether admitted or not, he needed her, maybe even more so than she needed him.

That thought scared the Saiya-jin king more than any other that had plagued him, exactly how much he needed her. At first it was her demand upon his care, protection, trust, and love that softened his stony heart. He had never been such a focal point in anyone’s existence, as he had grown to be in Bulma’s life. He could still remember, as though it were merely yesterday, how desperately she used to cling to him for support. The endless nights of crying and thrashing in her sleep, begging the agonizing nightmares of her past to be vanquished from her memory. He could still hear the sound of her screaming. He would call her name as he grabbed her arms to try and steady her panic stricken body. Usually, the mere sound of his voice would be enough to bring her back to reality. Overcome with emotion, she would collapse against his chest, sobbing, wrapping her shaky arms around him as though he was all that could save her from an abyss of misery. Sometimes Vegeta wondered if that was in fact true, but she rarely gave him any light into the torments of her past to prove or disprove his theories.

He could still remember feeling as though her sobbing would never cease. But when it did, she would give him little insight into what had horrified her so. At most she would confess to a fear of darkness, of being alone, and would beg him to stay with her the night. He of course always did as she asked; he could refuse her nothing since the moment he had laid eyes upon her. Vegeta would spend his nights sleeping in the corner chair of her room. A few times her dreams would be so terrifying he would have to physically console her the entire night through to keep the veil of sleep well tucked upon her. But he had been willing to do so, to suffer his own sleepless nights to ensure her slumber. He felt it was his duty, and he had done so whenever she asked.

This had only lasted however, approximately the first two years of her stay on Vegeta-sei, and then merely a few times after when her emotions were running high, but nothing more in recent years; at least until he offered to stay the night of her riding injury. She had told him she was no longer a child, and didn’t need his presence. She was right. He was all too clear on that point as of two years ago when he had learned exactly how much of an onna the once girl had become. Vegeta could still remember the day he realized how meaningful the title of onna he bestowed upon her truly was…

It had been the night before her twentieth turning of age; he remembered that point very clearly, because he would never forget the awkwardness of her birthday the following evening. He had been away for a week to take care of some business at a distant local. He had returned to the castle late at night, he had wanted to see his ward before collapsing into his exhaustion. Being without her a week seemed unbearable, he had hated leaving, but had no choice considering his responsibilities. She had long ago made him swear to wake her the moment he returned from any trip. His intentions were to do just that, but he was shortly sidetracked not long after entering her room.

Vegeta had walked over to Bulma’s bed to see the picturesque serenity she had always managed to so easily display in appearance. He took a seat in the chair he had spent so many nights in for a little rest as he watched her sleep. Though his body begged for rest, he had been denied her peaceful presence for the entire week prior, his need to stay was much too overpowering. So he gave in, closing his eyes, calmly listening to her soft breathing. After a few minutes his breaths had matched hers to every gasp. Before the king could stop himself he began drifting off into the land of unconsciousness, but only barely, before the breathing he had minutes ago matched, began speeding in tempo. The gasps Bulma began to take were slowly becoming longer and deeper, almost to the point of heated.

The change in sound roused the king from his near slumber. Confused by her increased breathing he shifted his drowsy gaze to the body across from him. Almost immediately on sight, whatever sleep was left in him awoke as he found his eyes transfixed on her form. The princess’s covers had been tossed from her body as beads of sweat falling from her brow began to cascade down her face, blatantly displaying the inner heat radiating from her body. Upon first sight Vegeta had thought she was in the throws of another nightmare, but in a matter of seconds he found the truth to be quite the opposite.


Gods he would never forget the soft panting and whimpering her lips released as her body twisted longingly back and forth. Her hands seemed lost at first, until they made contact with her own flesh. Vegeta would never forget the slow path her long delicate fingers traced; first circling her stomach, then, more roughly, kneading their way up to her breasts, where her hands halted to attend to her pert nipples. The moaning increased as her hands tried to relax the hard mounds beneath her digits, but her attempts seemed to merely invoke the opposite effect as her body began shaking even more desperately.

Vegeta’s mind had told him the moment he realized what she was ‘suffering’ from that he should leave. He was invading her privacy, and had no right to bear witness to her private visions. But in his moment of shame, he could not leave. As much as his mind screamed for him to go, his eyes could not leave her aroused form as with each moment her actions became more bold. One hand had continued to massage a throbbing breast, while her other slowly began pulling down the top of her gown to release her firm mounds to be violated by her naked fingers. The effect of each revealing movement dazed the Saiya-jin king even more. His body had begun reacting from the moment he had first heard her soft moans, but now his reaction was actually becoming painful. The sight of her creamy white breasts being kneaded by her long slender fingers was more than the Saiya-jin could view without his body demanding more from him.

Before he knew what he was doing, he had carried himself to her side. Sitting on the bed next to her, he just barely stopped himself from reaching out to touch her bare skin. ‘By the gods what is she doing to me!? She is my ward!!’ His mind had screamed at him. ‘You have no right to look at her this way, to feel… desire for her in such a manner. She is just a child!!’ And it was at that moment, at that thought that he had realized how very wrong he had been. The creature before him was anything but a child, she had become an onna, right under his watchful eye and he hadn’t even seen it. He! The closest person to her hadn’t seen… or felt it… before that moment, the moment when she invoked forbidden feelings inside him, the moment when his lips touched hers.

Had he not been so lost in thought at the time, he might have realized how close his body had drifted to hers. Or, he might have noticed that her hands had left her breasts and began seeking out his body, almost as if finding the remedy to her pain. But he didn’t notice, until it was too late. Until her hands had found their way to his neck and brought his lips down to hers in, what he assumed to be, the physical act she was experiencing in her dream.

Why hadn’t he stopped it? At the time he had hid behind the fear of waking her. He told himself that if he had pulled away she would have awakened to both their embarrassments. But deep inside he knew it was an excuse. A pathetic reasoning he hid behind because he could not, even if he wanted to, break from her soft lips… hot tongue… and impassioned caresses. With every second that passed, may the gods help him, he wanted more of her. His hands, under a power of their own, had even begun to explore her body desperately, until he had heard the all too shocking vocalization that broke through his daze and brought him back to reality.

"…Make love to me…"

As if the shame had suddenly hit him, Vegeta finally realized what he was doing to the onna. Here, in her unconscious reality, she calls for a man to ‘make love to her,’ the terminology her people used for mating. She had once explained to him that ‘making love’ was something that could only be performed by two people who truly loved and desired one another. And here he was, taking advantage of her dream of that perfect mate, by seeking his own physical indulgence from her. How could he do this to an onna who trusted him, who counted on him?!

A cold chill had run down his spine as he had realized things would never be the same for them after that day. How could he ever look into her trusting eyes again? She had relied on him to always do right by her. How the hell could he continue to pledge such a trust when his body so easily reacted to her moans and self-gratification? The thoughts had become too much for the king to bear as he abruptly broke from the all too torturous sight, relieved at not waking her. He had set out to leave, but failed to make it far enough before an even more frightening vocalization entered his confused mind.

"…Oh yes, Vegeta…"

He had heard her moan passionately in the throws of her fantasy. Vegeta had intended to write off the sound of his name as some delirious thought his mind had implanted, but the even louder reverberation of his name, a second, and then third time disproved whatever doubts he had. ‘The onna is dreaming about… me?’ His mind demanded an answer, the concept sounded all too bizarre, and arousing at the same instant. ‘It can’t be!’ He had told himself. ‘She couldn’t possibly be attracted to me in such a way. It… It is just a dream… It couldn’t possibly represent her true feelings… She begged for love… I… I must have forced the thought into her head when I touched her… ’

Even as Vegeta had tried to rationalize what he was hearing, he knew a part of him wanted to think, even if for a split second, that she had been dreaming about him. A part of him had wondered what it would be like, could be like, to know the onna on a more intimate level. But that minuscule part of him was greatly overpowered by the soul shattering part that had reminded him exactly who he was dealing with. Not a possible mate… his ward. And it was only that rational thought that got him out of her room before the horrid possibility of her waking occurred.

Now as Vegeta looked back upon that day, his actions sickened him to the core. Not only had he stolen a kiss from the onna without her conscious knowledge, but he also had effectively managed to destroy whatever normalcy had been built between them over the six years prior. He had left the castle immediately after their interlude, in a shameful attempt to avoid the small celebration that had been planned for her the next day. He knew how acutely she wished his presence for the special occasion, but under the circumstances, he simply was not ready to face her after his moment of disgrace.

Had it not been for his overpowering sense of guilt, he would have never returned to bestow upon her the gift he had so meticulously chosen several weeks prior. It had taken all his strength to walk back into her room and drop the sapphire necklace upon the vanity she had sat down, no doubt to write a nasty letter to him for missing her celebration. He would have deserved every word of her fury and more even after he had made his brief appearance.

She had opened the pouch so excitedly, having no need to look behind her for assurance that Vegeta had in fact been the one to bestow the gift upon her. He remembered hearing her gasp as she jumped out of her seat and turned to wrap her arms around him in the most affectionate of gestures she would ever bestow upon him. He was relieved when she quickly pulled away, and asked him to attach the necklace for her. He had thought keeping as much distance as possible between their bodies, was for the best. If only he had the strength to follow his own rationale.

Her scent had been so potent to his senses that he had fumbled a few attempts to latch the necklace. It had been difficult for him to focus on his task when every time his finger brushed against her soft creamy flesh, all he could think about was what she had felt like beneath him the night before. Lost in the lust filled memory, when he had finally attached the jewel his lips seemed to possess a mind of their own as they touched her porcelain neck. "So perfect," he had whispered before pulling away. The comment had been unconsciously made in regards to her beauty, but he felt the bliss of relief engulf him as he realized that she had misinterpreted his comment, and assumed he was referring to the jewel he had just placed upon her. He could not help but thank the gods for her ignorance.

He knew by that point he was doomed to make a larger error in judgment if he stayed a moment longer, so he decided to take the coward’s way out and informed her that he had to leave once again. She was, not surprisingly, unreceptive to his announcement, resulting in verbal combat breaking out between the two. He absolutely hated fighting with her; he never wins. And this time had been no different. How she had talked him into a dance still boggled his mind to this day. The power she held over him was simply exorbitant.

After watching her gracefully walk out onto the balcony, Vegeta had wrapped his arms around her waist, hoping a nice distance would be kept between the pair. Of course that was not the case. She had pressed her soft body fully against his, running her hands briefly up his back before resting her palms upon his shoulders. He wondered if she had felt the chill that had run down his spine when she had touched him, and briefly pondered the possibility that she had awakened the night before, realized his sin and was now torturing him with a taste of what would never be his, as punishment. But then he reminded himself how gentle a creature she was, how she could never be so malicious, even though many a time she seemed to play with his affections, he continued to dispel his logic.

She had buried her head in the crook of his neck, ensuring that he could experience the potent aroma of her hair. His eyes had fallen shut as he simply stood, imagining what life would be like for him to hold her, as he had at that moment, for the rest of his life. Finally, after so many years, what it could be like for him to have a mate. Someone he could blindly trust, love, and make his queen for the rest of his life. Such stimulating possibilities had become too much for Vegeta at that moment. Pulling away from his onna, he had known such fantasies were forbidden to him, and staying any longer would only make the reality more painful for him.

Gracing Bulma with a light kiss upon her forehead he stated his goodbyes, and departed on a two-month jaunt that would be fruitless in ridding him of his impure desires. When he finally came back, nothing had been different on his part. Though he covered well for his discomfort, he knew a certain closeness they held was destroyed by his weakness that night. Being around her became a burden to him. His body all too frequently reacted to her mere presence; and even more pitifully, he found himself unconsciously touching her whenever possible. A gentle embrace, a soft kiss upon her hand, her neck, her cheek, even once he had taken her bottom lip within his! He could only offer his thanks to the gods that Bulma accepted each of his intrusions without question of his motives. Although he was certain her silence was only out of respect, her physical reaction: a sudden chill, a light blush, a stiffened back, or even a low gasp, usually told him such.

Eventually, Vegeta began to constantly worry that his feelings would take hold of him as they had that night and he would end up alienating himself from her indefinitely. It was from this fear he decided his only course of action was to sever contact with her, spending more time away from the castle than present. He knew it was for the best, he thought distance would be healthy; an easy way to control whatever lust the onna invoked in him. And Vegeta had thought his plan had succeeded, until just recently when he returned for the senate’s assembly. The moment he had stumbled upon Kakarrot confessing his love and plea for a joining, or at least he thought at the time, from his onna… his emotional reaction was nothing short of utter dejection. Yes, he separated them, and argued that Kakarrot was below her station, which he is, but the thought of Kakarrot having her… her moaning his name… By the gods he would have hacked the man’s heart out had Bulma not stopped him.

It had been at that moment that Vegeta knew something much more destructive than simple feelings of lust had invaded his body on the eve of Bulma’s coming of age. Vegeta had been in love with the princess’s spirit, affection, courage, fire, and enveloping presence since the moment he had met her. He had simply never realized a physical attraction to her until that night; the night when the small pieces of his broken heart she had been slowly reassembling finally made a whole. And with its complete restoration, Bulma stole the entity in a matter of seconds, and has failed to return it since.

Vegeta’s teeth tightened as he thought of how that point had been particularly stinging since Juunanagou had arrived. Hiding his feelings has become more and more difficult since Juunanagou has begun his open pursuit of Bulma. Yes, Vegeta had every right to keep a universe’s distance between the pair after the atrocities Juunanagou committed against his person, but the intensity and magnitude to which Vegeta worked to this end was very much biased by his desire for the onna himself. When Kakarrot had admitted to him the moment of intimacy he had witnessed between the two, his rage had become barely containable. Vegeta had to wonder if Juunanagou had any idea exactly to what degree his sick games were affecting him. He could only pray that was not the case as the repercussions could be even more detrimental to the safety of his ward.

But what was he to do? He guiltily played on her loyalty, to make certain she would agree and keep her promise to stay away from the bastard. And with merely a few days left for the senate’s conferences he had felt successful, but only partially. Her promise has only been in the physical. His mind refused to even consider that his onna could possibly have any genuine feelings for that scoundrel, but her behavior this last week told him differently. She had been more complacent. Her energy was depleted, and her thoughts seemed constantly lost. The latter he found, to his painful disappointment, to in fact result from her deprivation from Juunanagou.

The stolen glances and the sighs of regret were all too telling. With every look of longing Vegeta found his soul swelling with jealousy. Jealousy because Juunanagou could do what Vegeta knew he never could; invoke feelings of want and desire within his young princess. Vegeta was no fool; he knew his ward looked upon him most neutrally as a friend. And how could she see him as anything more? He is her guardian, eleven years her senior, and in all likelihood, in her eyes, some kind of father figure. That reality destroyed Vegeta more than any other, for if she knew the truth about his view of her, the certainty of her mortification was inevitable.

Vegeta’s breaking point at dinner had stemmed from these realities just a few hours prior. Hearing of the bliss the two lovers shared only proved to remind him of how lonely his existence was and, he was beginning to believe, would always be. Yes, his comment had been out of line, but nothing stung more than Bulma’s words of retaliation. "Just because you can’t find an onna to mate with you, let alone bear your child doesn’t mean you have to insult those who are fortunate enough to have that privilege." Of course, as she spoke those words, she could not have known that she was a direct cause of his celibacy these last few years, but hearing her point out his inadequacies only bruised his already battered emotional state further.

Vegeta’s body physically cringed as he contemplated his bleak existence. ‘It seems fate wants me to remain alone, perhaps I should stop aspiring to defy destiny,’ he told himself before his head snapped to attention as he began to hear the sound of a rider coming in his direction. Vegeta’s immediate assumption was Kakarrot, but when the intruder came into sight, he could not help but hide his shocked expression.

"Juunanagou," Vegeta hissed as he jumped to his feet and walked over to steady Akuma, who had immediately been irritated by the man’s appearance. "What the fuck do you want?"

"Nothing," Juunanagou said with genuine solemnity. "I have only sought you out to hasten your return to the castle."

"Is that so?" Vegeta was already attempting to calculate the man’s true intentions, as he hooked his foot into the settle brace and mounted his stallion. "And why would you wish I return to the castle? Perhaps you have set up another false scene for me to walk in on as you had done so many years back?"

"No." Juunanagou growled deep in his throat, he couldn’t believe he was actually about to do a man he despised so deeply a favor—no, the favor was for the one he injured in the first place, the king tried to remind himself. With added determination Juunanagou for once offered the truth. "I do not ask for myself. I ask in the name of your ward. She has been… injured." He swallowed hard, strangely sickened by the actual events. "She claims that you can heal her pain, and that you are the only one she wishes to see. I could not deny her request, that, and only that, is the reason I am here."

Vegeta’s eyes widened slightly as the information he was just given failed to make any sense. Injured? Directing Akuma so he was right next to Heijin, Vegeta probed the man’s eyes for his true sinister intentions. He failed to find any. "What happened?" he demanded, it had to be something truly terrible for Juunanagou to appear authentically upset.

"She was attacked in the stables. I believe she had been looking for you at the time." Juunanagou attempted to shift the blame some; his attempt was futile however, neither man was swayed.

"What do you mean attacked?" Vegeta’s question was asked slowly and deeply, an underlying threat very much evident.

Juunanagou withheld his answer for a few moments as he locked eyes with his rival. His choice of explanation would have to be very cautiously admitted. "I was on my way to take Heijin for a ride. I heard screaming, I followed the sound to find a man attempting to ravage your protectorate. I saved her from what physical damage I could, but emotionally, she seems to prefer your aid; that is why I am here and now that I have served my purpose--" Juunanagou stopped mid-sentence as Vegeta’s hand snaked around his neck, a blinding fury building in his eyes.

"You had someone attempt to force himself upon my onna?" Vegeta screamed, not for a moment doubting the pieces of the scenario Juunanagou had left out.

Juunanagou’s eye’s flashed in slight confusion as he heard the possessive note in Vegeta’s voice. It was not the sound of a man protecting an asset; it was something more he couldn’t quite decipher. "I don’t know what you are talking about!" he objected through long gasps.

"No man on this planet is foolish enough to so much as look at Bulma in even a slightly suspicious manner, let alone lay a finger on her for fear of my wrath. Only you would have the gall to pull such a stunt so you could play her hero!! Damn you and your vengeance! You have no idea what you have done!" Vegeta’s screamed before he released Juunanagou roughly. "I shall deal with you later," he hissed before racing back to the castle.

The time for retribution was not now. Now, Bulma needed him, and he would not allow his hate for Juunanagou to deny her console.

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Table of Contents
Chapter 9
Chapter 11