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I allow myself to cry a little as I walk back to my room. Well, it's not like I could stop anyway. Whatever I might try and tell myself, we both know I have offered myself and been rejected.

Yet part of me is glad. What had I almost done?

It's the middle of the night, but I really need a bath. His words have made me feel so tarnished and dirty. I can't believe I threw myself at him like that.

Did I only imagine he could want me?

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I sit outside in a tree, trying to catch my breath and collect my thoughts. Desire still burns through my veins, but it is being swiftly overtaken by anger. How dare she presume that I would want her paltry human love?

A light flashes on in the house, momentarily blinding me. The woman walks into her bathroom and I start. But it's impossible for her to see me out here in the dark, from inside that brightly lit room. I can see the determination not to cry as if it were written upon her face.

She begins to disrobe and I shut my eyes. Baka. In front of an open window, for the world to see! Of course, it is the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere, and she hardly expects there to be someone sitting outside in a tree directly adjacent to the building.

I open my eyes hoping she is already in the bath and out of sight, but instead fight to inhale. My lungs refuse to fill with air.

She is seated in front of a mirror, brushing out her pale, satiny hair. A tiny frown is the only sign of any inner turmoil. The rest of her bearing is completely composed, and her eyes are clear.

I, on the other hand, am fighting not to fall out of the tree. I think that this image has been seared onto my brain forever. I had seen more of her before, of course, that night in the woods, but this is completley different. The long, pale expanse of creamy leg, leading up to the graceful curve of hip to waist. A hint of round breast showing as she raises the brush. The skin of her back, as smooth as milk. And the shining waterfall of blue cascading down her back and spilling over her shoulders, almost concealing her breasts. She lacks the lithe musculature of a real woman, but no Saiya-jin ever had hair like that.

I know that to touch it would be like running my hand through a cloud of silk, and feel a sharp pang of regret, seeing all that I have callously spurned tonight.

She is totally unworthy of me! Furious at her, and myself, I snap off the branch I am holding and take off. To anywhere but here.

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It's been weeks, and I have no idea where he is. I suppose he can take care of himself.

I know, now, why he has gone. It wasn't my imagination, that he could need me. In my heart I know I'm not deceiving myself when I remember the tide of emotions I felt from him when we kissed. He has never depended on anyone but himself, and the thought that he might require anything from another drives him mad. His pride forces him to leave. To get as far away as possible.

I don't really expect to see him again, at least not until we all gather to confront the androids.

I miss him terribly, and know that I have traded one impossible love for another. For a moment I hate Goku and Chichi, for having a normal love, and each other. All I have ever had was one man who couldn't love me, as hard as he tried, and another that tried with all of his might not to.

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I blast another tree.

Training out in the wilderness has been less than pleasant. I tire of eating only whatever meat I can kill, constantly aware of the progress I am not making without that stupid machine.

She is an obstacle to my path! I can't let go of my goals. They have been my only reason for living for so long.

But I have lost. Nothing I do allows me to escape her face.

I leave the ground and fly toward that place without bothering to check my position. Something draws me strongly enough that I think I could find it blindfolded. I convince myself I am returning only for the training room and a decent meal, not for any infinitesimal need to see her.

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With no meals to fix or gravity machine to repair, I fill my time trying to develop a weapon that might be effective on the approaching enemy. But it's nearly impossible to figure out a way to destroy something when you have no idea at all how it works.

I sigh in frustration and rub my aching temples.

"You're even uglier when you frown like that."

I nearly jump out of my skin.

Leaning against the wall, arms crossed, he looks at me as if unsure of his welcome -- for an instant, anyway. Before I can blink he is once again the picture of royal arrogance. I want to wipe that infuriating smirk off of his face.

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She scowls at me, but I think she is glad to see me. She turns back to whatever pointless project she is working on and proceeds to ignore me. I shrug and turn to leave. I'm no longer quite sure why I came to see this baka human.

"Hmph. I suppose you're hungry."

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I hope against all reason that something besides training and a hot meal has brought him back. Nothing has really changed. We still fight all of the time, but I feel like I am just going through the motions. I can't bring myself to hate him for anything anymore. I've seen too deeply into him to take it seriously when he says some of the outrageous things that used to make me so mad.

Most of the time, anyway.

"Woman! You call this shit _food_??"

"You will eat it and LIKE it!!"

I decide to have some fun, and program little 'surprises' into the gravity chamber. Nothing big: the controls zapping him when he enters, the lights shutting off in the middle of the day and refusing to turn back on, stuff like that. Nothing that looks intentional.

It doesn't cause him any real harm, and the resulting sizzle and his startled shout sure make _my_ day.

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She is so easy to provoke, and I know all of the right buttons to push by now. Making her constantly irritated at me keeps her at a comfortable distance.

She spends most of her time in that lab. I don't really care enough to ask what it is she's working on.

I have more pressing matters on my mind. I still haven't managed to reach the next level, even with the improvements I demanded she make to this piece of junk. I am running out of time! Every day I fail is another day for Kakarot to widen the gulf between us. I know he is not wasting any time. He is a third-class warrior and an idiot and I can't understand _how_ his powel level can be above mine!

Driven mad by frustration, I increase the settings far beyond the level I have been training at. The pain is unbelievable, but I refuse to stop. The thought of dying does not bother me nearly as much as facing another day of failure.

Rising off the ground, back arched, head thrown back, every muscle tensed, I reach within myself. The power blazes through my entire being like liquid fire. I scream with the pain of it, but also from exhilaration. I can't see anything through the blinding light around me, but I feel stronger than ever before! I am so close--

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An explosion causes me to drop the delicate circuit I have spent hours building and curse in frustation. Damn!--

Vegeta! I immediately know that this is much worse than his usual daily destruction of my machine. What has he done to himself now?

Running outside, I see the remains of my gravity machine but no sign of him. I have never known such fear. I start throwing sharp metal around in a blind panic, heedless of my shredded skin.

Finally, a hand. I heave a large sheet of wall off of him that I'm sure I could never have lifted normally.

He looks worse than I have ever seen him, but his chest still rises.

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"What do you have, a death wish?!?"

I groan inwardly. I must not be dead, if I can still hear her irritating voice. I was so close...

She tries to pick me up, shocking my eyes open. As heavy as I am she almost manages to do it, too, until I shake her off.

"Woman, leave off!"

"You idiot! What were you trying to do!"

I ignore her, and by some amazing feat of strength manage to pull myself to my feet. Determined to get as far away from her as possible, I start walking to the house.

I don't make it very far before I feel myself falling. She grabs my arm, and I notice blood dripping from her hands. It isn't mine. She must have cut herself trying to free me. Baka.

I wish I could refuse her help, but on my own I will never make it there before I pass out. The humiliating thought of someone having to carry me makes me bite my tongue and permit her to guide me inside.

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So much pride. I don't know how, but we manage to make it up the stairs to his room. He steps away from me and walks slowly to the bed himself, as if to say, you see? I didn't need your help! He collapses on top of the sheets, white with the effort of hiding his pain from me.

"Take that shirt off and let me dress those." I order. I am not asking, and he is too weak to defy me.

"Woman, just leave me the hell alone!" If looks could kill, I would be a smoldering corpse. But they can't, and he's in no shape to do anything else.

I strip the shirt off myself, inhaling sharply. He is covered in lacerations and bruises. Some of the gashes will have to be stitched. I return downstairs for supplies from the infirmary.

He says nothing under my ministrations, and I try not to hurt him, but every time I touch him he flinches in pain.

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She thinks she is hurting me, but the truth is that the light touch of her gentle hands is driving me crazy. I shut my eyes against it and endure.

Thankfully, the last of my reserves is soon depleted and I lose consciousness.

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I watch him sleep. I stroke his forehead, something he would never permit me to do if he were awake. I rise, stretch, and pull a chair up beside the bed. I should leave but I want to reassure myself that he's really going to be okay.

He looks so tired. He pushes himself beyond normal endurance. I wish that I had half of his determination.

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I wake to the faint scent of spice, just enough to thrill. Looking down, I see the source: gossamer blue strands blanketing my arm and shoulder. Her head is pillowed on her arms, facing me. I don't know exactly how much time has passed, but it's late. She must have fallen asleep, watching over me. I won't admit that I am strangely glad.

Against my will, almost of its own accord, my hand rises from the sheets. Slowly, determined not to wake her, I stroke the pale cheek. Her skin is an enigma, at once warm and cool under my fingers.

Her eyes open and I am lost in pools of blue, like the deep clear hue of a bottomless lake.

Neither of us speak. Some scathing comment is on my lips, preparing to force her out, but I am too drained at the moment to fight this. I capitulate.

There is no moon tonight. Her eyes seem to burn with a luminosity all their own. Her lips part. "You could have--"

I place a finger on them to shut her up, and draw her down next to me.

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I can't believe what is happening. I never, never thought he would touch me of his own volition, much less with anything resembling tenderness in his eyes. I am undone. I can't stop tears from coming.

His hands are so gentle, bringing my lips to his, and burying themselves in my hair. He devours me hungrily, biting my lower lip softly, but I detect a hint of hesitation. I can't figure it out. I've never seen him unsure of anything. Does he think I will reject him? Can't he see that I am totally his, and could no more tell my heart to stop beating?

Suddenly I know. I remember the scars on his back, and the life he has led. Some of the wounds must have been dealt in battles, but others looked suspiciously like lash marks. So many I couldn't count them. I don't think he's ever been allowed to get close to anyone. Ever.

Instinct takes over, and his hands glide across my skin, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. But deep inside I feel his fear of not knowing exactly where to go from here.

I pull him close and teach him.

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End Chapter 5