It was happening again. The shadows whispering to him. The words spoken so fast that they bleed together conveying no message just a headache. He clutched his head and screamed out, 'Leave me alone. Why won't you leave me alone?' demanded Goku.

'Because we can't.' said that voice that sounded so like his own. 'We need you Kakarott. We need you…'

The shadows stopped. Goku opened his eyes slowly. His wife was hovering over him in concern. 'Are you all right?' she asked. The room was flooded with light. He had had the lights placed in such a way that very little shadow was cast. That had been the first sign Chichi got that something was not right. But what exactly was wrong she did not know.

As far as Goku was concerned she never will, 'I am fine.' He said putting forth that goofy son smile. 'You worry too much.'

A sad cast came over Chichi's face, 'Goku we have been married for a long time. We have a five year old son for Kami's sake and you still keep secrets from me. Why?' she asked, 'I mean you are not suppose to keep secrets from your wife.'

'O come on Chichi.' Said Goku with a smile, 'You keep secrets too.'

'Like what?' she wondered.

'Well you still haven't told me what you put in your chicken soup.' Offered Goku.

Chichi began laughing, 'And you are never going to find out either. That's an old family secret that I can only tell my daughter or daughter in law.'

'Well I better hope Gohan grows up and falls in love quickly so I can eavesdrop.' Said Goku in his friendly cheerful way.

Chichi laughed, 'O Goku.' She sighed, 'Ah my little scholar. He will grow up soon.' She said as she walked out of the room to check on Gohan. Nothing distracted Chichi as much as Gohan and Goku was glad that it was so easy to distract his wife.

He sat down on the bed. Sleep was out of the question. As soon as he closed his eyes the voices would return. The images would return. Images of war, images of destruction, images of a civilisation rising and falling and than losing its way and become something it was never meant to be. He could deal with the images but he could not deal with the whispers. He never knew simply sounds could convey such pain, such longing, such… something else. The whispers were telling him something yet he did not know what. The words made no sense. Once he tried to make sense of them. Never learnt much. Something about being trapped and in pain, something about a lesson and a prince, something about a place called Vegitasei. Goku did not understand. He specially did not understand why they kept calling him Kakarott.

'Because that is your name.' Came the voice. The only one he heard distinctly. Goku looked up. A spider was casting a shadow right on him. He moved away from the shadow. The voice, he knew, would not speak to him now.

The first few years he clung to the shadows. The whispers laced with pain as it was oddly soothed him. Saiyain or not he was still only a child. A child who had had company all his life. Vegeta always believed that he could do without company but left on his own he knew better. How many time had he sat in the shadows listening to the endless voices cry out their pain to him and prayed to every spirit he could think of, except her, to give him company. The spirits did answer him. They always answered prayers in which heart and minds were poured in. But their powers were limited. In answer to his prayers for company they could only send him the creatures that ran free in the woodlands, crawled around in the deserts sands and soured the high skies their spirits untamed.

In another time, another place Vegeta would never think of keeping pets. But now they were his only company. The spirits had given his huge wild cat the ability to watch him. They gave his desert lizard the ability to gaze upon his face and his hawk the ability to find him no matter what. They were the only living beings in the entire universe who could see him and to him they were the most cherished possession he could ever have. But it was not enough. It would never be enough. To have more Vegeta knew he had to prey to a spirit whose powers were so great that it seemed to have no limits. He had to pray to her. But he would never pray to her. he would never pray to the spirit of Vegitasei. He would not pray to her because he knew that as a Prince of the house of Vegitasei he was not suppose to even acknowledge her existence. He would not pray to her, he would not…

The island was small but nice. The waves were good. The weather was great. Most of all, minus the old perverts ogling and the little pigs underwear fetish, it was a nice warm place to be. He had spent a lot of time there. When he was young but somehow he didn't feel any joy at the prospect of going there now. Shadows so many shadows lurked there. So many shadows that threatened to drive him mad with there endless whispering. Goku shuddered but he kept silent. Chichi really wanted to get out of the house and he could not say no to her. He never could. So he went. After all it was a chance to see all his friends.

Even the ones he hadn't seen for awhile, 'Hey Bulma nice to see you.' He called out as he ran to the blue haired genius. 'How are you? I like your new hairstyle.'

'Really?' She said as she touched her hair, 'You don't think its too short.'

'Well, a little but it'll grow back.' He said with a smile.

Bulma giggled, 'O Goku don't ever change.' She said, 'Now where is your son.'

'O he over there, come.' Said Goku as he ushered his oldest friend to his wife and son. They were sitting under the shadow of a palm tree. Keeping away from the rays of the sun. Keeping away from him, though they did not mean to.

He stopped well away from the shadows and watched as Bulma ran over to his son and began to bombard the child with questions. He watched with a smile on his face like always. Hiding the dread that was in his eyes as he gazed down upon the dark shadow. So simple yet so very frightening. 'Goku why don't you come and sit next to us?' suggested his wife.

'No thanks, I'll let you guys talk, I want to get some training done.' So saying he ran off to find Krillian. In truth he was running from the shadows but they did not know that. Left up to him they would never know that.

The desert wind ruffled her hair as it blew grit up in the air. The little Prince was at it again. Clutching his cat, trying not to remember the time when the planet was full. Trying to fight the most natural instinct a Saiyain possessed when under duress and fight and flight was out of the question. He was trying to fight the urge to drop down on his knees and to appeal to the planet itself. She shook her head, or rather the illusion of a head that she had created to give form to what had no form. It hurt, it hurt her immensely when her children suffered. With their souls linked to the planet, the planet could always feel the pain of a Saiyain and as she was the planet she felt the pain of every Saiyain that now existed in limbo and the two who did not. It was not a nice sensation. The curse was harder on her than it was on her children. She could break it. She had the power but she knew what would happen if she did. Death, destruction and she wasn't talking about other species either. The witches curse was cruel indeed but it was teaching the Saiyains a lesson they really needed to learn. It was teaching Vegeta a lesson he needed to learn and one day, one day he would learn and her children would be free. Till than the planet would suffer under the soul crushing weight of grief and pain, till than she must suffer under the soul crushing weight of her children tears. But she would survive, she could survive this. She would not survive if the witches curse was never brought into force.

She gazed up at the sky and through the atmosphere. Her supernatural eyes tracked through space defying time, bending space. Soon she was gazing down upon a blue planet teaming with life. There she saw the only other of her children who was not in limbo. Kakarott or as he would like to be called Son Goku. He had developed exactly like she hoped he would. More like a Saiyain than anybody could imagine but at the same time different. It was time for him to return home. Soon he would be returning and he would bring the sapphire eyed female as well. She smiled, 'You may not pray to me for company Vegeta but it does not mean I am not going to give it to you.' She did not bother saying the words in Vegeta's mind, she knew they would only earn her scorn.

In a mistaken belief that he could rise to godhood in the eyes of the Saiyain people one of Vegeta's ancestors and swore her existence to be false and made it a crime to turn to her. He died a miserable creature, consumed by his own empty ambition to an extent that even the gentlest and kindest of Vegitaseien spirits turned their back on him. But he had left a lasting legacy in which the planet had no place in the psyche of Saiyains. It was just a ball of dirt that existed to serve them no matter what. It was than that the Saiyains first lost their way. It only got worse from there.

There was a full moon that night. He stayed in its light holding her close. Sleep would come soon. Perhaps, perhaps tonight would be better. Perhaps tonight he would hear less voices, perhaps… heavy with sleep his eyes drifted closed and for a time nothing but darkness filled his mind and silence reigned in his heart. But than, than the shadows began to whisper though the darkness remained. The endless string of nonsensical words drifted through his mind leaving behind a trail of hurt and pain. His eyes snapped open but the darkness did not lift. For a moment panic gripped his heart as he though he had gone blind. 'NO.' he screamed. Shadows, nothing but shadows, all around him. Gripping his mind, raving his soul driving him mad. 'NO.' he screamed again as he lashed out against it. Against the overwhelming, over powering sensation of insanity creeping up on him like a thief in the night, posed to steal his mind. 'NO.' he screamed as power began to course through his body. He would not let his mind be stolen, he would not be driven mad. He had never lost a battle before and he was not going to lose one now.

'Kakarott!' came the voice, 'Control yourself. This is achieving nothing, think, remember…' said the voice of his father… his father. In a flash he remembered everything. everything from before he hit his head against the cold hard ground. He remembered what was feed into his brain during the long journey from Vegitasei to earth. A monster, a killer, that’s what he truly was, that’s what he was suppose to be. He was not suppose to wed Chichi or befriend Bulma and Krillian he was suppose to destroy them.

A sob escaped him as what he was came crashing down upon him. But he could be a monster, he just couldn't be. He lashed out against it. His power rising as he fought to drive away the image of him he saw in his mind. A murderer, a creature that can only be described as evil, 'NO!' he screamed again, 'I am not a monster.'

'And neither are we.' Said Bardock, 'Or rather it is not what we were meant to be. But a race as old as ours can't survive as long as we have without losing our way. The wisest of races lose their way and whatever we were we were not wise. But time in the limbo has taught us wisdom and taught me your value. When you first met the female with the blue hair you laughed as you told her that you thought your parents didn't want you. Did you really find the knowledge so light?' he asked softly.

'No.' answered Kakarott with tears streaming down his eyes, 'Why didn't you want me?' he asked a painful note in his voice. Years of not pretending to care, years of not believing to care was being washed away against his will. He did care, he realised than he always had.

'You were weak.' Answered Bardock, 'A birth Ki of two. I was ashamed. So I did what we always have done with children so weak. I gave you to the pod-seeding unit and they sent you to earth. If you survived and cleared the planet you would have earned your place in Saiyain society. I had no doubt you would do so. I saw it, as I was taught to see it, as shielding you from the enemies of the Saiyain empire.' A weary chuckle, 'It seems I was right. I mean if you haven't noticed you are not in the limbo with us.'

'Do you regret it?' asked Kakarott, 'Do you regret sending me away?'

'Do I regret saving my son from joining me in limbo? No. Do I regret what my son has become? No. I know I should condemn you for being a over sensitive weakling but as I said before life in the limbo has taught us wisdom and I don't regret what you have become. So the answer to your question is yes. I would do it again.'

As unlikely as it was Goku found that was exactly what he wanted to hear. 'What do you want me to do? What happened?'

'A curse Kakarott. A curse was placed on us by a witch more powerful than you can ever imagine. A curse that ends when…' suddenly the clarity was done and nothing but mindless chattering began to fill his mind.

'Father?' asked Goku, suddenly he felt cold inside and he knew that he would never hear his father again till this curse he spoke of was broken, 'Father!' he screamed as his vision returned and he saw his friends and family surround him with fear imprinted on their faces. He saw to his horror that in his frenzy he had harmed his wife. Chichi lay on the ground unconscious, 'Chichi.' Yelled Goku as he picked her up and flew towards the hospital. Gohan had not been there to witness the chaotic scene probably slept through the whole thing. A fact he was supremely grateful for. With tears streaming down his face and mindless whispers clouding his brain he rushed her to an emergency ward. The doctors told him it was not too serious but would have been if he had been late but a moment.

As he waited for her to wake up, his head empty of tears but filled with the whispers, he formulated in his mind what he had to do. The whispers would not stop. He knew that. The shadows would whisper in his head till they drove him mad and forced him to take his own life. He would never hear his father again unless he got him out of the limbo. He could not run from the shadows anymore. They were every where now, even within his own soul. He was going to have to face things head on. He had to go home. He had to return to Vegitasei.

'Mr. Son, you wife is awake now. You can go and see her.' Said the doctor. Goku nodded and slowly got up. For the first time he realised that some time during the course of the night his friends had joined him. He smiled at them and followed the doctor to the Chichi's room. The other waited outside till the doctor and nurse cleared out than they snack in. none of them really wanted to deal with a doctor telling them they couldn't be there because the patient needed rest.

'Mom!' screamed Gohan as he scrambled over to her, 'Are you alright?'

'I am fine.' She said with a forced smile, 'Or at least I will be as soon as your father explains what happened back there.' She said the smile vanishing for her lips. Goku sat down in a chair next to her and pressed his hand to his forehead as he tried to recall when the voices first began. Slowly and as clearly as he could he told them everything.

When he finished a dead silence filled the room, 'Why didn't you tell us this before?' demanded Bulma, 'I mean we could have helped you.'

Goku shook his head, 'No you could not. You still can't.' he stopped, 'That is not true, you can help me.' He informed Bulma, 'My ship, the Saiyain space pod I came here in, I need you to rebuild it. Will you do it please?' he begged. Bulma could not remember the last time he had begged.

'But Goku why?' asked Chichi fearing the answer.

'I need to go back Chichi.' Said Goku, 'I can't stay here, I can't stay near any of you. If the shadows don't stop I will go mad and I will end up completing the task I was sent here to complete. I can't stay here. I need to make the shadows stop and the only way I can do that is by going to Vegitasei.' He looked her straight in the eye. 'I need to go home Chichi. I need…'

'This is your home Goku.' Chichi pleaded. 'Your home is here with us. Your family and friends.'

'Yes it is.' Agreed Goku, 'But my planet calls to my blood Chichi. A longing I could not explain has plagued me all my life. When I fought the longing sort of disappeared and I thought that the longing was for battles, good battles, battles that test my limits. But now I understand. The longing is for the planet I was born on. Saiyains are linked to the planet Vegitasei. No Saiyain could ever imagine a future without it existing.' A wiry smile curved up his face, 'It is perhaps ironic that a race that would probably fall in thaws of despair, at least for a little while, if their planet was destroyed would be the means by which thousands of species lost their home worlds.' A look of sadness came over him as grief clouded his eyes. Grief at what his race had become, grief at the severity of the lesson they had to learn. It was clear to his friends and family that with his Saiyain side awakened he would not reset till he had felt the soft sands of Vegitasei beneath his feet once again.

'Take me.' Said Bulma, 'Take me to the ship and I'll fix it for you.' She said.

'Thank you.' Said Goku. Than he turned to his wife, 'I can't stay with you Chichi. I'll only end up hurting you if I stay. Wait for me, please. Wait for me till I can make the shadows stop.' He pleaded.

'Of course I will.' Said Chichi softly, 'Why would you ever think I wouldn't?' she asked in amazement.

'I don't.' said Goku as he gave her a brief hug and a barely detectable peck on the cheeks. He never was good at showing his emotions towards her in public. Than he turn to his son, the little boy had his arms wrapped around his legs in a silent plea. Slowly Goku extracted him and held him in his arm, 'Be strong and take care of your mother for me. Okay?'

'Okay.' Said the little boy trying not to burst into tears. Gohan was an intelligent little boy but there were emotions involved here that a five year old just could not grasp. All he knew was that his father was leaving and it was making his mother sad and breaking his little heart. But his father wanted him to be strong and to make his father proud he would be strong. Goku smiled. Placing Gohan next to his mother and stepped back. He stared at the two of them for the longest time, as if he was burning the image into his brain, given the intense look on his face he probably was.

At last he turned away. Sweeping Bulma into his arms he flew out the wind. Not bothering to call for nimbus knowing that the creature in his arms would not be able to get on it. Bulma had a good heart but not a pure one. Purity was after all something totally different.

The ship was damaged beyond repair. She and her father had to rebuild it pretty much from scratch. But they retrieved the engine and the navigational computers and improved them to an extent the original creators would have believe impossible. But they did it and it didn't even take that long. Just under a month. Than she went in search of him. It was not easy. Goku was hard to find when he didn't want to be found.

But she did find him and the moment after she did she wished she hadn't. She found him in a cave not far from where he grew up. His hands slapped across his ears, his face twisted in agony and his mouth endlessly whispering the words, 'Shut up, shut up.'

'Goku!' she screamed as she ran to him, 'Please speak to me or please kami help him.' She uttered as she tried to get him to his feet thought she was not sure why.

Goku pushed her away. She slammed into the cave wall and instantly lost consciousness. By the time she came to so had he. 'I am sorry.' He whispered as he helped her up. 'It gets pretty bad sometimes.'

Bulma nodded, 'The ship is ready.'

'Good.' Said Goku, 'I'll leave immediately. I don't need much after all. How long before it reaches Vegitasei?' he asked.

'If the data in the navigational computer is correct about a week.' She said, 'Just give me a minute to grab some more capsules from my father and than we can leave.'

Goku blinked, 'You are not serious. I mean think about it.' He pleaded, 'I am unstable, we are going to planet about whose current condition we know little. I mean you can get seriously hurt or die.' Pointed out Goku.

Thinking her selfishness never showed up in the right time she said, 'I am going with you and that’s final. You are in no condition to fly a ship half way across the galaxy and you are certainly in no position to boss me around.' She said angrily. Goku felt like hiding behind a rock till she cooled down, 'Now either you take me with you or stay in his cave and die. Your choice?'

'Okay, you can come.' Said Goku, 'But don't say I didn't warn you.'

Bulma smiled, 'Goku you would never hurt me. I know you wouldn't.'

'I just did.' He pointed out.

'I mean, you won't hurt me again.' Said Bulma as she turned her back to him and walked out of the cave her arms stretched out in expiration, 'Why do I bother?' she grumbled. Goku grinned and followed her. But inside, inside he was scared. He didn't want to hurt Bulma. She was like an older sister to him. An older, very louder sister but a much loved one too. He would never be able to forgive himself if he hurt her. He closed his eyes and remembered everything he had ever been taught about control. He was going to need it all. But the spirits were on his side. Little happened during the journey to Vegitasei and soon the ship was standing on the ancient sands of Vegitasei…

* * * * *