Chapter 4: Everyone’s training

 

Chichi sighed and looked out the window of Gohan’s room. Her little boy was out there, training for an alien invasion. She was terrified that something would happen to him or Goku, but something inside her told her they would be OK.

"You’d better be, you two. If anything happened to you, I’d seriously go mental," Chichi whispered to no-one in particular.

"Chi? Are you alright?" came the voice of the Ox King.

"Yeah, Dad. I’m just worried about Gohan and Goku. Something inside me tells me they’ll be alright. I can’t explain it. It’s like a reassurance."

"Chichi. I have something important to tell you, I think you’d better sit down." Chichi walked over to Gohan’s bed and sat down.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Who’s the blue catfish?" Vegeta snarled.

*snort * "I, am King Kai," said the blue catfish.

"Wait a minute. Hold it here. I stood with Kakarot’s hand on my back making me feel totally ill while I waited to come and be trained by you, and you’re a bloody CATFISH!" Vegeta roared. He couldn’t believe it. This high and mighty King Kai was nothing more than a short, breathing fish.

"Vegeta, that’s no way to speak to him," Goku was shocked.

"Oh, and why not, Kakarot? I was under the impression this guy or should I say FISH was worth fighting," Vegeta yelled.

"Would you speak to Kami like this?" Goku asked Vegeta angrily.

"No. Only ‘cause I can’t be bothered answering to that green freak."

"Well, think of the universe as an apple. If you cut the apple into four, you have quarters. Well the universe is divided into quarters as well and each quadrant has it’s own ruler. King Kai is the ruler of the North Quadrant, the quadrant Chikyuu falls into. Then, all four of them are overseen by the Grand Kai. Then there’s the Supreme Kai, who oversees all the quadrants, universes and other Kai’s."

"Well, Kakarot. I’m not a baby you know. You could have just said the Catfish looks after the North Quadrant," Vegeta rolled his eyes. He managed to totally eradicate the feeling of amazement from his voice. Other universes. He had been sure that the only universe in existence was the one Chikyuu was located in.

"Now that the two of you have finished squabbling, you might care to take a look around," said King Kai. Vegeta looked around him. They were on a planet no bigger than his house with a few trees, a car, and two buildings that strongly reminded him of Krillin’s head. Sitting outside the house was a cricket and a monkey. Vegeta looked from the monkey to Goku.

‘Strange resemblance,’ he thought to himself. All of a sudden, Vegeta seemed to be pulled to the ground. Struggling to stand up, he saw that Goku was having the same problems. Kai was smirking.

"It seems you two have a problem with the gravity on my planet. Of course, it is ten times that of Chikyuu’s so it’s understandable."

"TEN TIMES?" roared Vegeta. "How the hell are we supposed to train in this?"

"Well, you’re not. That’s why I’ve found a little task for you to complete. It will get you used to the gravity and also increase your speed. But first, you will need to pass a test before any of my training becomes yours."

"Kai, we don’t have time for this bullshit. The aliens are arriving in a week and a half. Kakarot and I have to get training. Kakarot, get us out of here, this is a waste of time," Vegeta said angrily.

"Sorry, Vegeta. No can do. You see, you can only use instant transmission to get to my planet (A/N I made this bit up but hey). Seen as this planet is in the next dimension, you can’t use instant transmission to leave. You have to go back the normal way."

"Which is…," Vegeta prompted. Kai grinned and said,

"Running back along Snake Way."

"Which will take how long?"

"2 days."

"What a waste of training time!" roared Vegeta.

"For once, I actually agree with Vegeta," Goku spoke up.

"Well, what you’re doing now is a waste of your precious training time, so either you let me train you, and you pass my tests, or, you go back now and it really WILL be a waste if time. The choice is yours."

"I think we should stay, Vegeta," Goku said matter-of-factly.

"Whatever, baka. Kai, just hurry up. What is this test you speak of?"

"Well, to prove that you are worthy of my training, you will have to make me laugh."

"WHAT? WHAT KIND OF A TEST IS THAT?"

"My kinda’ test, Vegeta," King Kai sniggered.

"Grrr this is a waste of time. Oh well, kai, we’ll try and pass your test, Kakarot, you go first."

"Erm OK, Vegeta. Well this couple, they’re playing golf in this really rich golf course and there’s all these rich houses down the drive. The wife says to her husband, don’t you dare go through the windows of those houses! So, sure enough, he smashes a window. They go up to the house to apologise. There’s this man standing there and he says to the man,

"I’m so sorry for smashing your window." The owner of the house replies,

"Don’t worry, mate you did me a favour. I’m a genie, by breaking that window, you set me free! As a result I will give you three wishes." The husband says,

"OK, I want a million dollars, every year, for the rest of my life." The genie clicks his fingers and says

"Consider it done." Then he turns to the wife.

"I wish for a new house, car and contents whenever I like it!" she tells him.

"Consider it done. Now I have a question to ask of you two?" The couple nod.

"May I please have the last wish?"

"Sure," say the couple in unison.

"OK. Well it’s been 546 years cooped up in there, so I wish that your wife would have sex with me." The couple look at each other and the wife says,

"Well, considering what he’s done for us, I suppose I could do that for him." So they head upstairs and after three quarters of an hour they come back down both satisfied. The couple thanked the genie and just before they left the genie asks

"How old are you two?"

"We’re both thirty-five," answers the husband.

"Thirty-five? And you still believe in genies?"

King Kai just stood there. Goku looked puzzled and Vegeta said,

"I’m surprised an idiot like you, Kakarot, even knows what sex is!" But he was still laughing uncontrollably. King Kai remained standing there, emotionless, before breaking into total hysterics. He was laughing so hard, Goku seriously thought he was going to pop.

"Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Oh my Kami, Goku! What a crack up! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" King Kai laughed. It took the hysterical King several minutes before he was composed enough to ask Vegeta for his joke. Goku grinned, apparently pleased with the result of his joke.

"OK, Vegeta. Goku’s made it. Now let’s see what you’ve got install for us."

"Fine, bakas. There’s this blonde and she walks into a Sesame Street Soft Toy Manufacturing Company and asks for a job. The manager says OK and sends the blonde to work. A few weeks later, the blonde is still hard at work. All of a sudden, a man runs into the manager’s office yelling that they can’t sell the toys to little children.

"Why not?" asks the manager. The man asks the manager to follow him. He leads him to the blonde who is hard at work and points to what the blonde is doing. She is getting two red pompoms and sewing them between the Elmo’s legs’.

"What are you doing?!" asks the manager who is completely beside himself. She indicates the Elmo’s to him then continues working.

"WHAT? I told you to give them test tickles, not testicals!"

"V-v-v-v-v-v-v-vegeta th-th-th-th-that was so funny!" The King laughed. Vegeta simply smirked and stood there with his arms folded.

"Alright, baka, funs over. I want to start training and I want to start training NOW!" he yelled.

"Alright, alright, Vegeta. For your first task I want you to catch Bubbles. BUBBLES!" King Kai called. The monkey that Vegeta had seen earlier and had thought looked like Goku made some monkey noises then headed over towards the King.

"WHAT! YOU WANT US TO CATCH A BLOODY MONKEY?" Vegeta said disbelievingly.

"It’s to get us used to the gravity," Goku explained. Vegeta was amazed that Kakarot of all people could understand the point in this, yet he couldn’t.

"Very true, Goku. Now. Goku. You can go first. I want you to run around after Bubbles. When you have caught him, bring him back here. And keep in mind, that the gravity on the Saiyan’s planet; Buruma-sei I think it’s called, is the same gravity as mine. And they live on it. Anyway, Vegeta, you can come inside with me. If you’re hungry you can eat, if not then you can find something else to do."

"I’m not hungry. I think I’ll just stay out here and wait for monkey to catch monkey."

"OK, then. If you’re hungry, come inside." The King waddled into his house and Vegeta sighed and, leaning against the wall of King Kai’s house, sat down.

"This is so pathetic," he mumbled as he watched Goku run painstakingly slow after the monkey; who seemed to be teasing him.

"Doesn’t Kakarot realise the monkey is much faster than this? Oh well. I guess all I can do is wait. Although I don’t know the success rate of monkey catching monkey," he smirked at his own joke.

"This is gunna be just great," he sighed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

"There is currently 8 days 15 hours 3 minutes and 9 seconds until we reach Chikyuu."

Buruma sighed. She really was bored. 3 months in a pod isn’t good for one’s self control.

"Nappa!" she snapped, waking the Saiyan abruptly.

"Yes, Milady?"

"I’m bored. The next closest planet is Ryaanara. I think we should stop and have some fun," she smirked, even though the other Saiyan couldn’t see her.

"Milady, remember what the queen said? We are to get to Chikyuu as soon as possible."

"Nappa you brainless baka. The queen is non-existent if you don’t remember. We’re free to do what we want. At least until we wish them back. But right now, I feel like having fun."

‘Very well then, Milady. We shall stop on the planet Ryaanara." Buruma leaned over put some co-ordinates into the keypad.

"0 days, 0 hours, 2 minutes and 22 seconds until we reach Ryaanara," the electronic voice told her. Buruma sighed again and uncurled her blue tail slowly from around her waist. The fluffy blue appendage swayed to and fro, anticipating the battle. Buruma smirked. Her tail knew. Suddenly, a thought struck her.

‘A moon. What if there is a moon on Chikyuu? What if it’s full?’ Her tail started lashing back and forth more violently now. She smirked and wrapped it around her waist again. She hadn’t been able to transform since she had come of age (she was now 21) because Freiza had taken liberty in destroying Buruma-sei’s moon. The idea of becoming Oozaru excited Buruma. What she wouldn’t give to go on an Oozaru rampage now.

‘And maybe, just maybe, Carripa can join Nappa and I. That is, if she wants to join us.’ A nasty thought struck Buruma. What if Carripa couldn’t go Oozaru? What if her captors had removed her tail? Buruma winced at the thought. A Saiyan without their tail was like a like a… she couldn’t explain. Take a Saiyan’s tail away and you might as well kill them! Buruma shook the nasty thought from her head and pressed the TIME button on the keypad.

"0 days, 0 hours, 0 minutes and 34 seconds until we reach Ryaanara."

"Nappa," called Buruma.

"Yes, Milady?"

"We’re about to land. Brace yourself." The worst part about flying in a pod, in Bururma’s opinion, was landing. It was quite a bumpy ride.

"Landing devices, initiated. Attempt to land in 5 4 3 2 1." There was an enormous crash and Buruma felt herself be thrown forward against the pod door, which consequently hissed and opened, letting her tumble out of the pod into the dirt. Nappa stifled a grin as the princess rolled out in front of him.

"Shut up, Nappa."

"Sorry, Milady. It’s just that every time I have travelled with you, you have always landed like this." Buruma grinned, a rare occurrence for her.

"Tis good to see you enjoying yourself, Milady."

"Yeah whatever, Nappa," the moment’s cheeriness that had possessed her leaving immediately. She stood up and dusted herself off. There was dirt all over her royal armour and all through her tail. She shook her tail and all the dirt fell out. She looked up at Nappa, shaking her spiky hair. All the dirt fell out onto her shoulders and she cursed.

"Nappa, we need to find some decent sparring partners on this planet, I’m desperate for a fight." Once upon a time, Nappa had had to go easy on the princess. But now, he was no match for her at all. She was the supposed legendary, the most powerful Saiyan in a millennia.

"Well you’ve come to the right place," said a cool voice behind them. Buruma and Nappa turned and looked at the alien before them. It was tall, orange, crustacean-like creature that stood on two legs. Nappa raised his hand, ready to blast the thing, instinct to protect the princess taking over. Buruma stopped him by putting up her hand and beckoning him over.

"Let’s just have a little fun before we kill them, OK?" Buruma mumbled quietly.

Nappa nodded and Princess Buruma spoke.

"Very well then. We are your prisoners. Take us to your head."

"Very well then," the creature replied, "follow me." Buruma looked at Nappa and smirked. The tall Saiyan looked back at her.

‘I hope she knows what she’s doing,’ thought Nappa as the orange being lead them away.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tien and Krillin were locking fists with each other, 15 feet above Yajarobe who was getting his ass kicked by Chou tzu. Picollo was meditating over by a tree and Yamcha was having his injuries assessed by Kami.

"It seems Goku has given you quite a beating. I won’t ask what you did to deserve it because you obviouslt did something. Goku isn’t one to attack for no reason," Kami told him.

"Yeah whatever. Just clean it up so I can go umm spar, yeah spar," Yamcha told him. Truth be told, he wasn’t intending to spar. If the fate of the planet was in the hands of the likes of Goku, Vegeta, Tien, Chou tzu, Krillin, Gohan and Yajarobe, then he wanted to spend his last few days getting some good lays. There was no way those bakas could defend the planet, so might as well make use of it while it lasted.

s put some antiseptic on the Yamcha’s wounds and bandaged/put a sticky plaster on them.

"There you go, Mr. Yamcha. Should be better in no time."

"Ta," Yamcha mumbled before lifting off the ground and blasting downwards towards the city. The others watched him go.

"Who’s his next victim I wonder," Krillin pondered, taking his attention away from the fight at hand, earning himself a punch on the face.

"Sorry, Baldy," Tien joked. Krillin grinned and dismissed it, rubbing his head.

"Come on. Let’s keep sparring." Tien nodded and they went back to fighting.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Next Chapter: Goku and Vegeta are chasing a monkey? Yamcha’s looking for a lay. Oh in case you guys didn’t know, I hate Yamcha, that’s why he’s sort of a bad guy OK? Nothing personal (it is actually but hey). Princess Buruma and Nappa have accidentally on purpose stumbled over some aliens. What will happen next? And who is this mysterious Carripa that Princess Buruma speaks of?


Table of Contents
Chapter 3
Chapter 5