760 Bulma and Vegeta
By: Bulmafox

Bulma sighed as she got up from her desk and clocked out, ending another grueling day of work, thinking of a million better things she could've done with her time. It wasn't the paperwork itself that bothered Bulma; she knew it was a necessary evil for any successful company such as her father's. It was that fact that her father, the illustrious Dr. Briefs, dumped it on her every day in favor of pursuing the new big shot in town. Ever since the mob boss Vegeta Oujisama set up residence in West Capitol her father had set out on an endless crusade to clean the town of such filth as Vegeta. Whether Dr. Briefs was worried that the mob boss would subvert morality in general, alcohol would be reintroduced, or Bulma would be seduced into a life of crime she didn't know. All she knew was she was sick and tired of him dumping all his work on her. Bulma wrote a scathing note to her father, slipped out of her lab coat, and locked the office door.

Bulma inspected the building thoroughly and when she was satisfied it was abandoned she moved to the back end and called out to a bunch of big burly men who quickly filled the room up. She served them all the strongest alcohol she had, then when she saw the boss wasn't there yet she retired to one of the back rooms to manufacture alcohol.

Bulma quickly found her ingredients and got to work. Alcohol was going to make a comeback if it killed her. When she found out the national leader had passed a law banning liquor, she threw a royal fit. To her father the new law was a return to the strong moral fiber that he knew so well, but to her it was the beginning of the end of freedom for her generation. She and her father had had it out the night of the proclamation. He had argued that her generation was going down the drain and some strong legislation was needed to reign them back in. She pointed out that banning alcohol was only the first step down a slippery slope of authoritarian rule. What was next, she asked, the prohibition of skirts? The burning of magazines? The end of radio? Bulma stormed out in a huff, not letting her father get another word in edgewise.

That same night Bulma bought her current attire—a short, tight, lacy red dress—and chopped off her beautiful long locks specifically to infuriate her father. She also opened a speakeasy—fast becoming the most popular type of alcohol haven—in the back of her own building to promote the spread of alcohol. Less than a month later a gang of big burly men calling themselves the Saiyans demanded to use her building as a base. Bulma not only agreed, but also suggested that they make it their headquarters and even manufacture their alcohol for them. The only catch was Bulma wanted half the profits they made off her alcohol. The leader readily agreed; after all, what was a mere half the profits when they would soon be making millions a day?

Bulma was drawn out of her creative trance by a loud whoop somewhere outside. She ran to the front of the bar to see what all the hubbub was about. She squeezed herself past the gaping, burly men and saw the object of all the whooping. He was a short, flame haired man—dressed in a shiny new business suit, no less—who's very presence commanded respect.

"Hey Vegeta," the bald man known as Nappa said, "Where ya been? Out breakin li'l chickadees' hearts? You stud!"

"Quiet Nappa," Vegeta ordered as he made his way to the counter, "I do not 'break li'l chickadees' hearts.' I run a business, not a harem."

"Touché," a long haired man told Nappa.

"Aw shut up Raditz, whaddya know?" Nappa shot back.

Bulma walked away from the impending fight to behind her counter, where she served Vegeta a mix of several liquors. "So, where have you been, Vegeta?"

"I'm not telling." Suddenly a smirk formed on his face. "Maybe I will tell…if you give me a tour of your building."

Bulma smiled back. She knew exactly what Vegeta was suggesting. They had developed a secret code when they started sleeping together a few months back, to avoid the nasty remarks Vegeta's peanut gallery would certainly make if they knew about his and Bulma's relationship. Whenever one of them talked about taking a walk someplace, it meant the one wanted the other, at the place they mentioned. If one of them talked about touring Bulma's building, it meant the one wanted the other now; the one could not wait to get the other any farther than the next room or so. Bulma walked with Vegeta into the abandoned hallway.

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The short, bald man known as Baldy drove his way to the door of Bulma's speakeasy. He had been searching for a bride all day and had lost track of time. His best friend, Kakarot, had to remind him that it was time to go and how much Vegeta hated late people. That had certainly set Baldy's rear in gear. He just hoped Vegeta was off doing whatever it was he did when he disappeared. He and Kakarot straightened themselves and waltzed in with as much smoothness as they could muster.

"Yo Baldy," Raditz yelled from his table, "Did you get some today?" He and the surrounding Saiyans let out a hearty laugh.

"Forget about that weed, Raditz. He's not worth existing," Nappa sneered.

"Hey, you talkin' to me?" Baldy asked.

"You see any other losers around? Yeah, that's right, I called you a loser. L-O-Z-E-R, loser!" Nappa waved his hand and guffawed at his own cleverness.

"Was that supposed to scare me, or are you trying to tickle me to death? Either way I'm not impressed."

"Why you little toad!" Nappa punched Baldy square on his nonexistent nose.

"Hey that was mean!" Kakarot shouted. He charged at Nappa and started a great fight people would pay to see.

Baldy waited until everyone crowded around Kakarot and Nappa, then he pushed something on his suit and the room flooded with cops, arresting everyone on sight except for Kakarot and Baldy, who followed Dr. Briefs in pursuit of the mob boss Vegeta.

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Bulma and Vegeta lay entangled in a sweaty mess of limbs on the floor of one of the abandoned rooms. They almost did it in the hallway; they wanted each other that badly. Bulma managed to keep their passion at bay until they managed to stumble into the nearest room. However, once they reached their sanctum, their clothes had disappeared within the first five seconds and they were all over each other like bees on honey.

"Bulma," Vegeta said, "The reason I was so late tonight is because I was squirreling away money."

"Huh?"

"For us to live on. I figure five million zeni ought to be enough to live comfortably for at least the next five years. Bulma, I want you to run away with me. We can disappear, just the two of us. No one will ever bother us again."

"But what about the mob?"

"What about it? I'll put Raditz in charge, and if he can't maintain it then it deserves to fail."

"Of course, Vegeta. I'll go anywhere with you. Hey Vegeta—" Vegeta clamped Bulma's mouth shut. "Hmy, whmt's thm bmg mdea?!"

"Quiet. I hear footsteps." Vegeta listened to the footsteps, then his eyes widened with horror. "Oh gods, they're coming! Get dressed!"

Bulma and Vegeta threw on their clothes as quickly as physically possible. Right as Bulma got her dress back on and Vegeta pulled his pants up, the door flew open. Dr. Briefs stood, pale-faced upon seeing his wayward daughter, flanked by Baldy and Kakarot, showing off their badges.

"F-father! What are you doing here?" Bulma asked.

"I should be asking the same thing of you, daughter. This has gone way too far. First you protest the rebuilding of the moral fiber, then you go chop off that beautiful long hair of yours, and now…this! You're coming with me."

"Over my dead body. I'm not moving an inch."

Baldy raced over and grabbed Bulma.

"Oh no you don't! Let go right now or I'll kill all of you!" Vegeta ordered.

Dr. Briefs laughed. "You would. Get him Goku."

"Goku? What the—" Kakarot charged Vegeta and gave him a good sound punch in the stomach, rendering him unconscious.

"Vegeta, no! I thought you were one of us, Kakarot!" Bulma shouted from Baldy's arms.

"No, we're detectives. My real name is Goku Son and Baldy's real name is Krillin Chestnut. Your father hired us."

Bulma glared ice at her father. "You are so dead."

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"I'll ask you one more time, Bulma. What on Kami's green Earth possessed you to lie with such a monster?" Dr. Briefs asked from his easy chair.

"And I'm telling you one more time, because." Bulma said, arms crossed and head held high, looking away defiantly.

Dr. Briefs pounded his fist on the coffee table in front of him. "Conflarnit Bulma, do you know how dangerous he is?! Do you know there's a 500,000 zeni bounty on his head? Half a million zeni! That's a lot of money! I'm just glad he's been put away now."

"So? I love Vegeta and nothing you say will change my mind."

"So it's come to this, huh?" Dr. Briefs walked over to his intercom. "Tenshinhan, Chiaotzu, you know what to do."

A tall, three-eyed man and a small mime walked in, sedated Bulma, and dragged her to her cell without a word.

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Bulma awakened with a start in a dark room. After adjusting her eyes to the darkness, she walked to the door and tried to open it. The door was locked. She looked up and saw a small, sliding panel near the top. It was then Bulma realized she was a prisoner, and she had a pretty good idea who locked her up. Bulma pounded on the door. "Father, open up this instant! I know you're out there, let me out! I'm your daughter; I don't deserve to be treated like a prisoner...Fine, see if I ever talk to you again! Or maybe I'll run off with all your money! I got it. I'll tell all your trade secrets to Dr. Gero!"

The panel on the door slid open and the three-eyed man who sedated Bulma told her, "Dr. Briefs isn't here."

"Who are you? You're the one who knocked me out, aren't you, you big goon!"

"My name's Tenshinhan—Tien for short. I'm one of your guards."

"'One of'?"

"You have four guards. Me, Chiaotzu, Piccolo, and Yamcha. Oh, by the way, congratulations on your engagement."

"What? Who exactly am I engaged to?"

"Yamcha. You'll be married in a month. Have a happy wedding." Tien closed the panel.

Bulma walked back to her bed and plopped down on the hard mattress. She realized that she wasn't wearing her red dress; instead she was wearing a white hospital gown. Worse yet, her father had stripped her of all her supplies, leaving her no way out of the prison he had set up for her.

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Vegeta sat in his tiny cell, planning his next move. Sure, he could've just busted himself and his gang out of prison, but he considered that the crude way out; so Nappa-like it hurt. Besides, if he strong-armed his way out of prison, Dr. Briefs would surely catch wind of his escape and whisk Bulma away to some deserted island, or worse. Vegeta had figured everything out, now all he needed was an opening. He had been observing the guards' patterns over the past two weeks and found them to be painfully predictable. On the first day Vegeta and his gang were put away he discovered that they were all going to be kept in separate wings, leaving him no way to communicate with the others. However, he later found out that the entire prison population went to lunch at the same time, and he got together with his smarter cohorts, namely Raditz and Turles, and worked out their escape plot. After Vegeta, Raditz, and Turles found out where everyone was being held Vegeta partitioned the prison into three equal pieces and put Turles and Raditz in charge of their two areas. Each of them smuggled out spoons to dig with—which was easy as long as they only stole a few at a time—and dug out their own network connecting their cells to the others', with all three networks meeting a few good feet away from the prison walls. Vegeta, Turles, and Raditz also learned their guards' patrol patterns and always rushed back to their cells just in time for their checkups. Vegeta's guard in particular only checked up on him every few hours, giving him plenty of opportunity for escape. However, Vegeta had to synchronize his opening with the others', and today was the day they would escape. Not long ago, Raditz and Turles reported their guards' check-up times to Vegeta and they all agreed to meet at their designated meeting place in one hour, when none of the guards would be looking. With any luck Vegeta and the others would be a good mile or two away before the guards realized they had escaped.

As soon as his guard moved from his cell, Vegeta moved the slab of concrete that had covered his tunnel and slipped down, making sure to re-cover his hole. He only got a few feet before he hared Nappa yelling not far from his location. He rushed to the dunderhead's cell to rescue him from whatever mess he had gotten himself into this time. Before he could reach his cell, though, a blood covered Nappa plopped down, almost on top of Vegeta.

"Nappa, where did all this blood come from?" Vegeta demanded as he dragged the big brute down the tunnel.

"I...uh…kinda killed a few guards."

"WHAT?! You nimrod! Do you know what you just did?! We gotta get out of here now!"

"Aw, what's the panic, Vegeta? So I killed a couple of guards, big deal."

"Big deal indeed. You just blew our cover. Now go!" Vegeta dragged Nappa along his network, grabbing as many Saiyans as possible before he heard the alarm go off, after which he and the others made a beeline for the exit.

Vegeta dug himself out at the designated place, unaware that the others had been picked off until he saw only Nappa climb out. Soon afterwards, a weary Raditz and Brolly climbed out, followed be a shaken Turles.

"What happened?" Vegeta demanded when he saw no other Saiyans had escaped.

"Sorry, boss. I tried to get Brolly out, but…" Raditz started.

"I KILL GUARDS!" Brolly thundered.

"Figures," Vegeta said, "He's just like Nappa. And what about you, Turles?"

"I saw an opening and went for it."

"And left the others to rot?"

"Hey, survival of the fittest."

"Fine. You're in charge of breaking them out."

"ME?" Turles squeaked, "But I barely got out myself!"

"So? I'm sure it'll be much easier without Brolly and Nappa."

"Whaddya want me to do, boss?" Nappa asked.

"Nothing." Vegeta turned to the tall long-haired Saiyan. "Raditz, you're in charge from now on. Run the business as you see fit. You are authorized to kill anyone who tries to overthrow you."

"But wait, boss—" Raditz started to protest, but Vegeta had disappeared without a word.

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Bulma racked her brain for something to do in her Kami-forsaken cell. All that was left now was a single mattress to sleep on. When Tien brought Bulma her first meal she ranted and raved about the fact that she couldn't see her meal, so he made a habit of leaving the door slot open to allow light in. Bulma took full advantage of her mealtime and started hoarding away forks. Soon she was dismantling the bed frame in the light. One day Piccolo came in during her mealtime and almost went sea green at the mess she had made. He immediately stripped the bed of its frame and searched the cell over for the missing forks. From that day on Bulma had only a single mattress to keep her company and the guards made sure they always got their now-plastic forks back. Her only hopes for escape were her father, Dr. Briefs, and her fiancé, Yamcha, neither of which she would consider. Dr. Briefs told his daughter that all she had to do was apologize and enroll in the nearest religious institution and she would be free. Bulma told her father which part of the afterlife he could go to. Yamcha offered a tempting—to him—deal. If she consummated their impending marriage early he would open the door and look the other way when she escaped. He ended up with a tray of food on his head. So Bulma was stuck in her tiny, bare cell for eternity. The only thing that kept her from going insane, besides sleep, was the elaborate world she had constructed in her head. There her mother was alive again, she and Vegeta were married and had a child, and her father was nowhere to be found. She promised herself she would make that happy family with Vegeta some day and cut her father out of her life for good.

Bulma heard someone walking toward her cell and walked to the door to give the poor passerby a piece of her mind. The person opened up the slot on her door, revealing himself to be a fifth guard.

"What now?" Bulma ranted, "My father deems me so dangerous I need five guards now? Go away!"

"No," the guard whispered.

"What?! If you don't go now I'll scratch your eyes out!"

"No you won't."

"Why you—"

"Hush woman. I'm Vegeta." He took the hat every guard was required to wear off.

"What? Vegeta—"

"Quiet. They're listening," Vegeta whispered.

"Oh! So how did you get here?" Bulma whispered back.

"Never mind that. I have a plan to get you out."

"Just break me out now."

"No. The last thing I want is for the old crone to find us. I'll be back."

"Wait, Vegeta, they're gonna make me marry Yamcha!"

Vegeta stiffened in his tracks. "Who's Yamcha?"

"My father says he's an 'upstanding coal worker.' He's marrying me off in two weeks!"

Vegeta ran off before Bulma could say another word.

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Vegeta searched high and low for a shape shifting academy. He snuck into all the public places looking for a flyer or someone recruiting students. As soon as he saw someone in a public hallway advertising something, he beat up some hapless passerby and donned the new clothes, making sure to cover up his face. He dragged the poor boy off to some secluded area and rushed him up against the wall.

"What are you selling boy?" Vegeta asked the young salesman in a hushed voice.

"Hey man, I have a license! Here!" the man shoved the license in Vegeta's face.

Vegeta ripped up the license. "I don't need your stinkin' license. I need to know what you're selling!"

"I-I'm a r-recruiter."

"For what?"

"A sh-shape sh-sh-shifting academy."

"Where is it?"

The young man stayed silent.

Vegeta pushed him against the wall. "Where is it!?"

"Uh uh it's s-south of h-here."

"How far south?"

The poor boy pointed straight south. "J-j-j-ust keep g-going that way. It's a big building in the desert. You can't miss it."

Vegeta dropped the young boy. "Well done. We never met, got that?"

All the young man could do was shake his head and scramble out into the hallway as Vegeta walked away.

Vegeta changed into his old clothes and walked out the building as though nothing happened. He wandered around for a while until he found an empty car on a deserted road. He cranked the car and took off, not hearing the shouts as the owner of the car appeared out of nowhere.

He drove for what seemed like an eternity in the desert until he finally came upon a building that looked more like a czar's palace than a school. He parked the car in front, donned his guard disguise, and walked in.

"Where may I find the principal?" Vegeta asked one of the animals guarding the door.

"Right there." The shaggy canine pointed to a room in the very center of the building.

Vegeta walked in the office, held the principal in a stranglehold and demanded to see the dirtiest, lowest student they had. The principal called in an aide and told him to fetch a student named Oolong.

A few minutes later Vegeta heard someone muttering outside the door, "They ain't mine…they're Puar's. Yeah, that's what I'll tell him. 'Most kind and benevolent sir, those magazines under my bed aren't mine. They're Puar's.' Yeah!" He paused to catch his breath, then strutted in to give the principal his excuse. The short pig was immediately intercepted by Vegeta and whisked to the car outside.

"Heelp! Save me!" the helpless pig yelled to the principal.

The principal waved bye.

"Traitors! Oww!" he yelled as Vegeta dumped him in the passenger seat. "I have very sensitive skin, you know! What's the big idea, anyway?"

Vegeta drove off with his hostage. "Are you Oolong?"

"What's it to ya?"

"I require your services."

"How much ya payin'?"

"Enough."

"Then I'm your pig! What'cha need? Bootleg alcohol? A stackful of hentai mags? A pass into the Dirty Fox?"

"Your shape shifting skills."

"What? You gotta be kiddin' me! I don't shape shift!"

The car skidded to a halt. "What was that?"

"Uh…it's just I failed shape shifting, that's all."

"Can you still shape shift?"

"Only for five minutes. Why?"

Vegeta took off his disguise and started the car again. "Because I've got a job for you."

Oolong's whole body trembled when he saw who his captor really was. "V-Vegeta Oujisama! My hero! I wanna let you know I started my own alcohol network in the school! Hey, can I have your autograph?"

"Quiet!"

"Oh yes sir!"

"So how much do you require?"

"You mean payment?"

"No, I mean hot dogs, of course I mean payment!"

"Let's see…since you're the great mob boss Vegeta, I'll cut you a deal. My services for a stack of hentai mags."

Vegeta pulled over at the nearest adult bookstore and came out with a foot tall stack of hentai magazines. Oolong's nose started spurting blood at the thought of seeing so many naked women.

"Don't bleed on the seats, pig," Vegeta warned.

"Oh, right." Oolong leaned over the side and let the dirt road catch the blood.

Vegeta stopped the car a few blocks away from Capsule Corporation asked Oolong, "Do you know anyone at all named Yamcha?"

"You mean Studly? He's all Puar ever talks about. I hear he's gonna marry the Capsule heiress Bulma Briefs."

Vegeta started turning red. "Don't remind me. You said he's a womanizer?"

"Yep."

Upstanding indeed! "So your job is to distract him, then assume his form and break Bulma out. Her room is guarded by a couple of freaks; you can't miss it. Got that?"

"Yep. I'm on my way."

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Yamcha had just finished off another hard day at the coal mines. On his way to Capsule Corporation he drove by some huge wooden signs yelling for his attention. After driving by the fifth sign, Yamcha decided to see what all the hoopla was about. His nose almost bled when he saw the sixth sign which advertised 'Hot Naked Women!' By the time he saw the seventh sign--'Free!'--he was sold. He happily followed the signs to a small, out of the way building. Yamcha eagerly opened the door and seated himself in the front row, where a blue haired beauty resembling a very well-endowed Bulma started her show.

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Bulma sat brooding on her mattress. First her father had her tranquilized and imprisoned, then he tried to marry her off to some coal worker, then her only real chance for escape—Vegeta—ran off and left her. Bulma sighed. He told her he had a plan, but she knew the extreme measures her father had taken to keep her and Vegeta apart; besides surrounding Bulma with guards day and night, each guard had his own ID and went through a fingerprint scan, which ensured Vegeta would never be able to pass as one of them. Bulma wondered how Vegeta managed to make it to her cell at all, with all the security measures her father had taken.

Without warning Bulma's door opened and one of the guards slithered in. Bulma let out a scream when she saw that her least favorite guard had invaded her room. The guard closed the door and covered Bulma's mouth.

Bulma bit the guard's hand as hard as she could manage and yelled, "I thought I told you I don't want anything to do with you, Yamcha! Now leave!"

"Wait, wait, I'm not Yamcha!" the guard protested. A cloud of smoke appeared, and in the guard's place stood a short and stout pig. "My name's Oolong and I'm here to bust ya outta this joint."

"Shh," Bulma said, "I hear footsteps. Change back; the guards are coming." Oolong changed back into Yamcha just in time for the tall green guard, Piccolo, to check up on Bulma.

"Bulma, what's going on?" Piccolo asked, "What's all this yelling I hear?"

Bulma laughed weakly and said, "Oh, Yamcha's just up to his usual tricks, that's all."

"Yeah, so butt out." Oolong faced Piccolo prove he was Yamcha.

"…Fine. Carry on." Piccolo shut the panel and walked down the hallway.

Oolong changed back to his usual self. "Whew! That was too close. I thought he was gonna play Twenty Questions wit' me."

"So? Can't you pull it off?"

"I didn't inherit the man's mind! I only assumed his form. And anyways, I can't keep a form for more than five minutes."

"You're kidding me," Bulma said weakly, "What good are you then?"

"Hey, I didn't pick this job. Vegeta Oujisama picked it for me."

"…Why?"

"Don't ask me! All I know is I'm sppos'ta get you outta here, though I don't know what he'd want you for. Pro'bly to blackmail the prez."

"Shut up Oolong. Just get me outta here."

"Fine. Have it your way." Oolong assumed Yamcha's form and escorted Bulma down the hallway.

Just before the pair reached the front door, Dr. Briefs intercepted them. "Hey Bulma, Yamcha, where are you going?"

Oh drat! He's onto us! "Uh…sir...Bulma and I were just going to…a church!" Oolong laughed nervously, "You know, to rehearse for the wedding."

Dr. Briefs laughed. "Why don't I join you two lovebirds? I'm sure it'll be joyous watching the rehearsal of the union of my dear daughter with such an upstanding young man."

Upstanding my cheek! "Uh, actually Pops, I think it'll be more joyous to wait until the wedding day. You know, don't wanna spoil the surprise, now do you?"

Dr. Briefs stroked his beard for a minute. "You know, now that I think of it, it would be better to surprise me. Why don't I give you a ride to the church at least?"

Oolong really stared to panic. "Uh, I have my own ride."

"Nonsense. I really must escort you to the church. It's the least I can do for you helping put my daughter on the right track."

Oh no, I can feel it. My time's almost up! "Put a sock in it old man! I'm taking your daughter and you can't stop me!" Oolong and Bulma sprinted to the nearest car and took off.

Dr. Briefs was dumbfounded. "Well if he didn't want me around he should've just told me."

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"Hurry up, Oolong!" Bulma yelled at the poor pig, "I can walk faster than this!"

"Hey, it's not my fault I got a clunker."

"What do you mean? It is totally your fault! Now start driving or I'll have Vegeta get rid of you!"

Oolong grinned. "Ha-ha, you can't! The Great One employed Yours Truly to break Her Royal Pain out for whatever loopy reason he's got runnin' through his head."

"Well I know him better than you, so if you don't hurry your butt up, he'll make pork chops out of you."

"Oh really? I'm one of his students. You can't get any closer than that."

Bulma bopped Oolong on the head. "Wanna bet? Now start driving!"

Oolong stopped the ancient car. "That's it! I'm not one of your flunkies you can just boss around. If you think you can go faster, then be my guest!"

"Gladly." Bulma yanked Oolong out and took off for the nearest new car. She plopped Oolong in the driver's seat and got in the passenger side. "Now drive."

Oolong crossed his arms and stared out the windshield. "No way."

Bulma cranked up the car and started swerving like mad.

"NONONO! Stop stop stop! I don't wanna die!!" Oolong then screamed like a little girl, seized the steering wheel and made an amazing save.

"I'll be driving from now on," Oolong told Bulma. "Besides, only I know where O Exalted One is." Under his breath Oolong muttered, "Great, now I have to change!"

Bulma and Oolong finally reached a steamed Vegeta a few blocks from the Capsule compound. "And just where have you two been?" Vegeta asked harshly.

"Oolong got a clunker," Bulma told Vegeta.

"She was gripin' the whole way. It really slowed me down," Oolong countered.

Vegeta glared at Oolong.

"What, you actually believe some spoiled princess over your very own student? I'm offended."

"First off, you're not my student. Secondly, yes, I believe this woman over you."

"Fine, I see how it is. This is how your faithful fan gets rewarded for his hard work?"

"I'll get you another stack of dirty magazines if you'll leave me alone."

"Nothin' doin'! You're stuck with me. So what's the plan, huh?"

"Like I'd tell you." Vegeta got into the car with Bulma and sped off.

Oolong grabbed onto the back bumper and pulled himself on to the bunched up canvas roof. "So how much money's she worth?"

Vegeta grit his teeth. "She isn't for sale, now shut your trap."

"So you want power instead, huh? I can see it now: Vegeta Oujisama, Dictator of the World!"

"Let's get rid of him," Bulma suggested.

"Yes, let's." Vegeta kept stopping and going in an attempt to shake Oolong off.

After getting thrown onto the road, Oolong changed into a bat and flew after the speeding car. "You're not getting away that easily!" He finally caught up to the car and landed in the front seat, right between Bulma and Vegeta. "So, Vegeta ol' buddy, what'cha plannin' to do with this one?"

"You don't want to know."

"Whoa, you plan to kill her or maim her or somthin'? 'Cause she's no good to you dead."

Vegeta screeched the car to a halt. "Maybe I'll just kill you!" He squeezed Oolong's neck.

Oolong gasped out, "Wait! I'm sorry! Really, I mean it! Wait, I'll do whatever you want! Anything, promise!"

Vegeta let go of Oolong. "Explain."

Oolong dusted himself off. "Gladly. Anything you want done, I can do it."

"Anything?"

"Anything."

"Fine. I want to disappear."

"You WHAT?!"

"You heard me. Now make it happen or you won't see tomorrow."

"Wait, wait, wait, I got it! You can go to Kame House. It's abandoned. My friend Roshi lives in a sweet pad Krillin bought."

"Krillin?" Bulma asked suspiciously, "How do you know him?"

Right, he's a cop. Cops are bad. "Uh, I'm not really friends with him, but Roshi is his teacher, so I guess you could say he's a friend of a friend of a friend of mine."

"Let me make sure." Bulma got out and shook Oolong upside down.

"Hey, what are you doin'? I have a head condition here!"

"I'm searching for bugs."

"What? You think I would betray O Holy One like that?"

"You never know." After Oolong was good and shaken, Bulma put him back in the car.

"So," Vegeta asked his new cohort, "Where is this Kame House you speak so highly of?"

Oolong looked around for a moment to get his bearings, then he pointed straight ahead. "This way. Just go straight and you'll reach water. You can't miss it."

"Wait. Chi Chi's house is closer. I'll ask her if we can hide there," Bulma said.

"Fine. We'll swing by there first."

Oolong crossed his arms and slumped in his seat. "Of course. Listen to the hostage. Pay no attention to the pupil." Vegeta drove to Mount Paozu.

************************************************************************

"WHAAAT?! Of course you can't hide out here!" Chi Chi bellowed after Bulma explained her situation.

"But why not?" Bulma asked.

"Because…because it's Vegeta," Chi Chi pointed to the man in question, "I can't harbor a criminal like him! Do you know he's wanted for one million zeni?"

"What? Where'd you hear that?"

"On the radio just now. Your father gave a brilliant speech about wiping out the vermin of West City and putting our generation to rights."

"Who's side are you on?!"

""Um…um…"

"I knew it. You traitor."

"But—"

"So much for friends." Bulma walked toward the front door.

"But--but Goku would kill me!" Chi Chi blurted out at the last second.

"Goku? You mean the dirty cop who pretended to be Kakarot?"

Chi Chi glanced down. "Yes."

"What do you have to do with him?"

"Bulma, please—"

"No. I want to hear it. Is he your lover or something?"

Chi Chi didn't speak a word.

"Wait a minute. How long has this been going on?"

"Close to a year."

"What?! You mean you knew about my father's plan from the start and never bothered to tell me?"

"Um…It's not like that. Goku made me swear not to tell anyone."

"Oh, Goku, huh?"

"Besides, I had no idea you were involved."

"Well I was, and because of you I'm in this mess right now."

"Get off your high horse! You did this to yourself, young lady! You're the one that slept with the Mob Boss himself, not me. You're the one leading the immoral life, not me! I wouldn't be so self-righteous if I were you."

"First of all, I'm older than you and you know it. Second of all, who are you to be playing Miss Morals? You are not my superior. Whatever friendship we had is over. Good riddance." Bulma stomped out of the house and slammed to door so hard Chi Chi feared it would fall off the hinges.

Bulma and Vegeta stalked to the car and sped off. Oolong noticed their sour faces and asked, "So, what's got your undies in a wad?"

"My ex-friend sold me out," Bulma fumed.

"And what about you, O Great One?"

"It's contagious. Now where is this Kame House?"

"Let's see…to the left. Keep goin' that way and you won't miss it."

"You better be right."

Oolong crossed his arms. "I'm always right."

************************************************************************

The trio made it to the shore closest to Kame House by nightfall. Vegeta parked the car and got out. "So pig, can you swim?"

"What, me? No way. I'm allergic to water."

"I'll tell you what you are," Bulma butted in, "A big fat coward."

"Hey, it's a medical condition. My skin gets all wrinkly in the water."

"Sure it is."

"Quiet, both of you," Vegeta ordered. He turned to Oolong, "So, do you of any boats I can use?"

"Uh, sure Exalted One." Oolong searched the nearby brush he swore Roshi had hid his boats, full of hentai magazines.

Five good minutes later Vegeta was still tapping his toe waiting for the pig to produce a boat. "I'm getting impatient!" Vegeta thundered.

Oolong officially panicked at Vegeta's words and ran around like a chicken with its head cut off. "Omigod omigod I am so dead! Whaddoido whaddoido whaddoido??"

Vegeta picked Oolong up by the scruff of his neck. "Quit your blubbering. Transform into a boat."

"But I can only keep my shape for five minutes."

"So?"

"What are ya, Superman or some'm'?"

"Of course. I'm The Great One, didn't ya know? Now transform."

"Okay okay. No need to twist my arm." Oolong turned into a boat and Vegeta pushed him out in the water. As soon as Bulma set foot on the boat, Oolong said, "The lady stays."

"I'm going whether you like it or not," Bulma said.

"Not you're not!"

"Am too!"

"Are not!"

Vegeta threw Bulma on board. "Move it, pig. You only have five minutes, then it's soggy sausage for you."

Oolong sweated profusely. "Oh, right!" He sped to the island as fast as he and Vegeta's arms could muster.

On Kame Island, Oolong sat on the coast catching his breath. "I'm…a…city pig. I ain't built for this. I could'a had one more second to spare, but noo! That loudmouth just had to get on too." He saw Vegeta and Bulma go into the deserted house. "Hey wait! Where ya goin'?" Oolong shouted as he ran after the pair.

Vegeta looked over his shoulder. "You'd best not follow us if you know what's good for you."

"What're ya gonna do to her, anyway?"

Vegeta turned his back on Oolong. "Wouldn't you like to know."

"Yes I would. I'm your prize student here. I deserve to know what's going on."

Vegeta turned back around. "Look pig, I said stay out and I mean it! Now stay in the living room if you wish to continue living."

"Fine, you big grump," Oolong mumbled under his breath. He stayed in the empty room like a good little pig while Vegeta and Bulma did Kami-knows-what in the other room. A few minutes later, Oolong's curiosity got the best of him and he peeked into the room, eager to see what kind of torture O Holy One was using on the woman.

"Get out, you lech!" Bulma screamed, "Don't you have any decency?"

Oolong stood dumbfounded at the pair. "Y-you mean---she…isn't…your hostage?"

"No! When did I ever tell you that?" Vegeta asked.

"B-but I thought…"

"See? That's your problem. You thought. Now leave us to ourselves."

"Y-Yes sir!"

Oolong slammed the door and leaned against the wall. Yowzas! His Highness and the Capsule Brat are lovers?! Well if that don't beat all! No wonder he wanted to disappear. I would too. That old fossil of hers is one tough cookie. "Hey, you done in there yet?" Oolong shouted to Vegeta and Bulma.

All he heard were some grunts.

"I'm going out for a while, Great One! You two kiddies have fun!" Oolong turned into a boat and headed for the mainland to swipe some furnishings for their new home.

************************************************************************

Bulma sat in the living room listening to a radio Oolong had swiped for her. From out of nowhere, she heard a thunderous boom. She ran outside to see what caused the boom, and her face paled in horror. The sky was absolutely black and lightning could be seen in the distance. In the far-off horizon, she could see something long and green. She ran into the house to warn Vegeta.

Just as Bulma rushed through the front door, her phone, which Oolong worked long and hard to steal because it was so rare, rang. She rushed to the phone and picked it up. "Yeah, what is it?"

"Bulma?" the voice on the other end asked, "It's Chi Chi. Do you know someone's summoned Shenron?"

"Yes."

"I think your father summoned him. He might try to wish himself to your hiding place."

Bulma rolled her eyes. "I know that. That's why we have to get off right now, so bye."

"Bulma, are you still mad at me?"

Bulma started jogging in place. "I have no time for this. I really have to go now."

"Bulma…before you hang up, I've prepared another hiding place for you. It's on Mount Paozu; it's the only other building besides mine."

"Thanks. Bye." Bulma hung up the phone and shouted clear across the house, "Vegeta, my father's found us! We need to leave!"

"What?!" Vegeta rushed in the living room, dragging poor Oolong by the ears. "Oolong, change into a boat, now!"

"You don't haveta tell me twice." Oolong wrestled out of Vegeta's grip and changed into a boat, then Bulma and Vegeta jumped in and sped off. After they reached the shore Bulma climbed on Vegeta's back, Oolong climbed on Bulma's, and Vegeta ran straight inland as fast as his two legs could carry him.

"So where are we going, Bulma?" Vegeta asked as the trio sped into the mountains.

"Chi Chi said she set up another hiding place for us. She said it's the only other building on the mountain."

"What? You mean you actually listened to the wife of Kakarot? How foolish are you? They could've set up a trap."

"First of all, Kakarot's name is Goku, and second of all, they are not married! And I doubt it's a trap. Chi Chi and I used to be best friends before she stabbed me in the back."

"Stabbed you in the back. See? She'll sell you out."

"Oh shut up, Vegeta. It's not like we have anywhere else to go. I'm taking my chances."

"Fine. Don't blame me when you get the death penalty."

"I am not getting the death penalty!"

"Uh, I hate to break up your li'l domestic squabble, but how did you know your father was comin' after us and why was the sky black?" Oolong asked.

"Because my father found the Dragon Balls."

"Dragon what?"

"Dragon Balls—seven magical orbs scattered all over the world. Whoever brings all seven together can summon the Eternal Dragon—Shenron—who will grant the person any one wish."

"You mean they can wish for anything?"

"Almost anything. I'm not sure what the rules are, but still, you can wish for pretty much anything."

Vegeta stopped. "Why didn't you use them in the first place, you dolt?!"

"Because Vegeta, we would've attracted too much attention. I'm sure a mob boss and a corporate heiress, each with a million zeni on their heads, would've drawn somebody's notice. Besides, we couldn't have used them for six months."

"Why not?!"

"Because they are inert. After Shenron grants a wish, the Dragon Balls scatter and become inactive for a whole year. So even if we had all seven of them when we escaped, like I said, we couldn't have used them for six months."

"Bum-mer," Oolong said. "Hey, isn't your father still comin' after us? We better get runnin'." Vegeta started racing again, with Bulma scouting for Chi Chi's fabled building. When the building was in sight, Bulma saw Chi Chi chasing after them and flagging them down.

Vegeta stopped in mid-run and allowed Chi Chi to come near him. "What do you want, woman?"

Chi Chi barked, "I want to see Bulma, if that's all right with His Highness!"

Bulma said, "What if I don't want to see you?"

"But I really had no idea Goku would be going after you."

"Oh really. As far as I'm concerned, we're enemies."

"Oh, you want proof, is that it? Well what about this? I never told Goku this whole time that I ever saw you. He still thinks you're in the desert or something."

"Really?" Bulma asked.

"You're lying," Vegeta said.

"Fine. Believe what you want to believe, Saiyan scum. Bulma, let's go. The house is this way." Chi Chi lead the trio to their new hideout, with Bulma and Oolong still on Vegeta's back.

Chi Chi opened the door and ushered them into their luxurious new home. Immediately she introduced them to all the newest modern conveniences. "Okay, right here is a complete washer-dryer system, over here is a brand new, state-of-the-art telephone—"

"I don't care about your stupid amenities!" Vegeta roared, "Just tell us if you're gonna sell us out!"

"Well, I'd sell you down the river in a second if I could—"

Vegeta growled.

"—But since Bulma is involved, I guess I'll just have to hide you guys."

"Hush," Vegeta said. He perked his ears up, "Someone's coming. Most likely Briefs."

"Hey, I got the perfect place for you. Here, this way." Chi Chi pulled away the 'Welcome' mat right inside the front door and opened the door to the basement, which was just big enough to hold all of them lying flat. Oolong and Bulma got off Vegeta's back and dove in first, though Bulma had a bit of trouble squeezing in because of her burgeoning belly. Vegeta got in last, then Chi Chi closed the door, put the mat back, and sat down to wait for Dr. Briefs.

A good few minutes later, Dr. Briefs strolled through the front door without so much as a knock, followed by Krillin and Goku. "Good day, Miss Chi Chi. May I ask you a few questions?"

"Uh, uh, sure!" Chi Chi said nervously.

"Hey," Goku asked, "What are all these nice things doing here?"

Chi Chi panicked.

"I bought them for you, not for another building," Goku elaborated.

"Uh…this is my home away from home. You know, a retreat, for when I need to escape from the world."

"OH, why didn't you say so? Can I stay here too?"

"NO!...What I mean is, this is my personal sanctuary. No one else's. You know you can stay at my house anytime."

"Sure thing! When I get done chasing after Vegeta."

"Speaking of which," Dr. Briefs asked, "You haven't seem him or Bulma around, have you?"

"Sure I have…in a newspaper."

"Being funny won't help. They used to live on an island not far from here and they might be hiding out in the mountains."

"No sir, I have no idea where they're at. I haven't seen them for six months."

"Six months? You mean they came to you when they escaped?"

"Yes, they tried to get me to hide them, but I turned them down. I think they said something about going clear across the world."

"You're lying. Their stuff is at Kame house." Dr. Briefs backed Chi Chi up against a wall. "They're around here somewhere. Come on boys, let's look for them." Dr. Briefs, Goku, and Krillin spent the next few minutes tearing the little building apart trying to find the two delinquents.

After the three were convinced that Bulma and Vegeta were nowhere to be found, Dr. Briefs nodded to Chi Chi. "We're sorry for the inconvenience. Bye." He, Goku, and Krillin left without another word.

"Oh GREAT! Look what they did to my beautiful house!" Chi Chi fumed for a few minutes before she finally let her guests out.

"Whew! I thought I was gonna suffocate in there," Bulma complained.

"That's nothing. I thought your fat self was gonna smush me," Oolong griped back.

"Bulma?" Chi Chi asked, "Is that really you?"

"Of course it is."

"Wait, sit down. I'll be right back." Chi Chi sat the three on the couch and ran around in a flurry trying to repair the damage Dr. Briefs and his cops had wreaked as quickly as possible. When Chi Chi was satisfied that everything looked presentable, she pulled up a chair across from Bulma and sat down.

"Now where were we? Oh, yeah, so are you still mad at me, Bulma?"

"Nope. You're forgiven," Bulma said cheerfully.

"WHAT?" Vegeta burst, "She's the lover of that traitor Kakarot! She bought all this stuff with his dirty money! We cannot trust her!"

"It's true, Vegeta, that Goku bought me all this stuff with your bounty, but that doesn't mean I work for him."

"No. It just means you conspire with him."

Bulma put herself between the bickering rivals. "Will you stop it, both of you? The reason I forgive Chi Chi is because she could've given us up to my father just now, but instead she did everything in her power to keep us hidden. That is more than reason enough to forgive her. And believe me, if she wanted to sell us out, she would've already done so. So there."

Vegeta plopped back in his seat. "I still don't trust her, but fine, I'll tolerate her presence."

"So Bulma, what's been up with you?" Chi Chi asked her new best friend, "You look so different. Your hair's longer. And you--you're…pregnant. How did that happen?"

"Don't worry, I was as surprised as you were when I found out," Oolong said, "I mean I thought they were captor and hostage, but lovers? You coulda knocked me over with a couple'a feathers."

"So it is Vegeta's?" Chi Chi asked Bulma.

"Of course it's Vegeta's, who else could be the father!"

"So, boy or girl?"

"I don't know. I've lived on an island for half a year. I don't have access to a hospital."

"So, what are you gonna name it, and when's it due?"

"Trunks if it's a boy and Bra if it's a girl. And it's due in…oh, three months."

"That soon? Do you think you'll be all right having a baby in the middle of nowhere? I mean I can help you when the time comes."

"You do that, Chi Chi. So, what's been up with you?" Bulma and Chi Chi talked well into the evening, with Vegeta just sitting there grunting, and Oolong inserting his two cents whenever possible. At nightfall, Chi Chi served everyone a big dinner, which everyone, even Vegeta, ate with gusto. Bulma and Chi Chi chatted for a couple more hours before Chi Chi decided it was time to go home.

"Good night, Bulma", Chi Chi said, "Remember to call me when you have that baby of yours."

"Don't worry, I will," Bulma said as she walked her friend out the door.

"And if you—you, Vegeta, or Oolong—ever need anything, just call me. I'll be right there."

************************************************************************

One day, while Bulma was busy feeding her son, she heard a knock at the door, sending her into a panic. She rushed out to the backyard where Vegeta was training. "Vegeta, my father…he's found us!"

Vegeta stopped mid-kick. "He what?"

"You heard me. He found us, now let's get outta here!"

"How do you know it's him?"

"Because he's knocking at our door."

"What if it's Chi Chi?"

"She always calls before she comes over, now hurry up and go!"

Vegeta stood there and laughed.

"Mind telling me what's so funny?"

"Your father's not at the door, that's what."

"Wha—how do you know?"

"Because he wouldn't have knocked. He would've just burst right in. And I don't see the pig running for his life, either. In fact, as I remember, he's fast asleep."

"Fine, you're so sure it isn't Father? Prove it."

"Gladly." Vegeta went in through the back and answered the insistent knocking at the front door.

"My Boss," a tall, long-haired, shaken up man got out, "Y-you gotta help me!"

Bulma peeked out from behind Vegeta. "Raditz, is that you?"

Vegeta 'hmph'ed. "And all this time you were running around like Chi Chi strung on caffeine."

"Oh hush," she scolded her mate. She turned to Raditz, "So come in and sit down. What's up?"

Raditz lightly sat down on the couch, as if he couldn't relax. "Boss, do you have any idea how long it took to find you? I had to follow close to four months of false leads."

"Thanks to Chi Chi," Bulma said.

"Who?"

"My best friend. She's been great this past year. She's really been throwing my father and his squad for a loop with all those false leads."

"Oh, whatever. I came to talk to Vegeta, not socialize." Raditz noticed the big bundle sitting on Bulma's lap. "Uh, what's that? I mean I know what it is, but…"

"He's my son. Mine and Vegeta's son."

Raditz stared wide-eyed at the tyke sitting in his mother's lap. "Y-you mean…you…and Vegeta…? Vegeta, is this true?"

"Does it look true? Would she be living with me if it weren't mine?"

"Uh…I guess you got a point."

"So what is this big bad problem that you just had to find me for?"

"Oh Boss, it's terrible. It's Nappa."

"Oh, him. What, is the Great and Powerful Raditz too weak to defeat one lousy man?"

"No, it's not that. They used some kind of strength-enhancing drug."

"'They'?"

"Yes. Nappa has the whole organization under his thumb. Only me and Turles got away."

"Let me guess, survival of the fittest?"

"…"

"Raditz and Turles are not cowards!" Bulma butted in, "They're smart! Think about it. No matter how strong they are, they cannot survive a hundred bulked up men. They did the right thing by retreating."

"Oh, and what would you have them do, Bulma? Disappear like we did? Crawl on their hands and knees to your father?"

"No, I would go for reinforcements, like Raditz is doing right now. If you're facing a big gun, you don't just charge in with your little squirter; you get bigger guns."

"So I suppose you've formulated a plan to get rid of Nappa?"

"No," Bulma said defensively, "But I'm working on it!"

"So will you help us?" Raditz asked.

Vegeta leaned forward. "What's in it for me?"

"Um..um..you get your whole organization back?"

"What if I don’t want it back?"

"What? But—but what'll I do?! He'll kill us all!"

"Relax. Don't get your underwear in a bundle. I'll help you."

"Really?"

"Yes. I always knew Nappa would betray me. I just needed to find a valid excuse to get rid of him. Now I have one."

Without warning the door flew across the room and crashed into the wall, only a few inches from Bulma.

"What the—Brolly," Vegeta hissed, "What are you doing here?"

"I KILL YOU!" Brolly thundered.

"Let me guess, you followed Raditz?"

"YES. NAPPA SENT ME!"

"Nappa, huh? Well I’d hate to disappoint such a good friend of mine. If you want a fight, you got one." Vegeta motioned for Raditz and whispered, "Listen, get Bulma, Trunks, and Oolong out of here and as far away as possible."

"But I can help you fight."

"No you can't. You were right; he's at least twice as big as before. He's impossibly strong. But so am I. Now go!"

"Yes, sir." Raditz grabbed Bulma and Trunks and left to find the third houseguest.

"ENOUGH TALK!" Brolly thundered again, "ME KILL YOU NOW!" He charged towards Vegeta, intent on finishing him off in one blow.

************************************************************************

Raditz tried navigating his was through the dust-filled house with Bulma in one arm and a wailing Trunks in the other. "Hey Bulma, where is this Oolong person?"

"Just follow the whine. You can't miss it."

Raditz followed his way through the house, using the "I dun wanna die!" screams as his guide until he reached a small room with a pig cowering underneath the bed, shaking his curly tail off. He picked up the pig by the neck. "Hey, you Oolong?"

"Who wants to know? Maybe you wanna kill me, too!" Oolong ranted.

Raditz shook the petrified pig. "Listen, moron, I am not going to kill you! Vegeta Oujisama sent me! Now do you want to live, or do you want Brolly to kill you?"

"Look, I don't know who this Brolly character is, but I sure as bacon don't wanna die! So lead the way already!"

"Good." Raditz tucked Oolong under the arm with Trunks and made a run for it using his own foot-made exit.

"So, uh…"

"Raditz."

"Raditz, what's going on back there?" Oolong asked as the four ran for the bushes.

"Long story."

"Basically one of Vegeta's henchmen, Nappa, betrayed Vegeta and sent someone to do his dirty work," Bulma informed Oolong.

"Hey, that's none of his business!" Raditz protested.

"Hey," Oolong argued, "I am Vegeta's number one fan. Whatever concerns O Great One concerns me."

"Don't argue with him," Bulma told Raditz, "We tried."

The foursome finally made it to a set of bushes far away from the action and watched until they were sure the fighting had stopped.

"Oh, no," Bulma gasped.

"What, what?" Oolong asked.

"That's not good," Raditz whispered.

"What, what?" Oolong persisted.

"The fighting's stopped, I'm sure of it, but…I don't see Vegeta."

"No! Vegeta!!" Bulma yelled as she sprinted back to the house.

"Idiot, she's gonna get herself killed!" Raditz muttered. He handed Trunks to Oolong. "Here, take the brat," he ordered before he ran after Bulma.

"Wait—what am I spos'ta do wit' him?" Oolong stared stupidly at the wailing infant. "Stop cryin', kid…will ya?"

************************************************************************

Bulma ran toward the ruins that used to be her home. When she saw Vegeta, her eyes welled up. He was lying face down on the floor next to a pool of blood, with a huge gash on his shoulder. "No. Vegeta, wake up," Bulma whispered. She started shaking Vegeta. "Please, you gotta wake up. You can't die on me, Vegeta, I won't let you." She groaned as she tried to lift him up.

Suddenly, from out of the rubble, she saw an even bloodier and battered Brolly stand up again. "ME KILL YOU! ME KILL YOU ALL!" he roared as he stalked toward Bulma.

Bulma dropped Vegeta and scrambled around for one of her Capsule guns. As soon as she found one, she picked it up and yelled as she emptied the bullets into Brolly's massive chest. She picked up Vegeta and headed back for the bushes, just as Brolly recovered and stalked toward her again.

"BAD GIRL!" he roared, "YOU DIE NOW!" He toward over her and sneered just before he lunged at her.

"Get down!" Bulma heard a raspy voice yell. Without a second thought she did as she was told. A second later, she saw Raditz jump from behind her and plunge his arm through Brolly's stomach.

"Bulma, are you all right?" Raditz asked.

"I—is he dead?"

"Yes, Brolly's dead, now how is the boss?"

"He's bleeding badly."

Raditz saw the gash on Vegeta's shoulder. "Oh no, he's gonna die if we don't do something."

"Chi Chi's. We can go to Chi Chi's. She'll help us."

"Where is she?"

"On this mountain. I know exactly where she's at."

"Fine, let's go."

"Wait." Bulma took off her orange jacket and wrapped it around Vegeta's shoulder. "I'm no nurse, but this oughta slow down the bleeding 'til we get there." Raditz took over for Bulma started carrying Vegeta to Chi Chi's house.

"Hey, wait for me!" Oolong yelled as he ran behind the group with a giggling Trunks.

"Didja think you were gonna ditch me that easily?" He huffed and puffed when he finally caught up with them. "Well you ain't. Like I said, you're stuck with me. So where we goin'?"

"Do you see this gash on Vegeta's shoulder?" Raditz asked, "We're going to treat it."

"Wowza, that big guy did a number on him, didn't he?"

"Well, Vegeta did a bigger number on Brolly."

A little ways before they reached Chi Chi's, Vegeta woke up. "W-where am I?" Vegeta asked drowsily.

"Hush, boss," Raditz said, "You're gonna be alright."

"'Alright'? Alright from what? There's nothing wrong with me. Now let go!" Vegeta yelled in pain as he tried to wrestle away from Raditz.

"Stop, Vegeta", Bulma ordered. "You were hurt really badly and we need to get you treatment!"

"Nonsense. I feel fine. I need to kill Brolly! Where is he?!" he demanded as he tried again to wrestle away from Raditz.

"Boss, boss, don't worry. He's dead."

Vegeta's eyes grew wide as he saw Raditz' bloodied arm. "Y-you killed him? But how…?"

"It took all I had to strike the final blow. Now relax." Raditz punched Vegeta in the stomach with his free arm.

"WHAT?!" Oolong yelled, "You killed O Holy One!"

"Shut up, no I didn't. I just knocked him out. It won't do him any good to fight with us."

"I'm gonna tell Chi Chi we're coming," Bulma said. She ran ahead of the others to Chi Chi's house.

************************************************************************

"Bulma, what are you doing here?" Chi Chi asked as Bulma ran through the door.

"You gotta help us," Bulma panted, "It's Vegeta. He's hurt."

"Hurt how?"

"Hurt as in he'll die if you don't help him."

"Okay okay, I'll help him. Bulma, there's a first aid kit upstairs in the bathroom. Bring it into Goku's room."

Bulma blinked. "Goku's room?"

"He's never there anyways. Now get going. You do want to save Vegeta, right?"

"Of course." Bulma ran upatairs.

Chi Chi opened the door and waited for Vegeta. She screamed when she saw a tall, hulking man carry Vegeta in.

"Hush, woman," Raditz scolded, "I'm here to help Vegeta. We gotta fix him up quick."

"Take him upstairs. Bulma's got everything ready."

************************************************************************

"W-where am I now?" Vegeta asked for the second time that day.

"You're at Chi Chi's house," Bulma said.

"I told you I don't need help."

"Yes you do. If it weren't for her, you'd be dead now. Do you understand?"

"And do you understand I would've been fine without her?"

"Whatever. You were hurt and you know it. Do you even know how much you were bleeding? Here." Bulma held up her now-red jacket.

Vegeta's jaw dropped.

"See? I told you you weren't fine. Look at your bandages. Chi Chi will have to change them in a little bit."

"…so what happens now?"

"I don't know. Our house is trashed, and you're not exactly in top shape right now, so I don't know what we'll do."

"What about Trunks? How is he?"

"Besides being majorly hungry, he's fine, and Chi Chi's taking care of that now."

"And Raditz?"

"Good as new. He's on lookout duty."

"I thought I heard you two bickering," Chi Chi said as she walked in the room with Trunks, "So how are you doing?"

Vegeta lay back and groaned.

"Oh get over it, you big baby. You're not Superman, you know," Chi Chi turned to Bulma, "Why don't all of you stay here for a while, at least until His Royal Pain here recovers?"

"No. We are going back and getting rid of Nappa," Vegeta butted in.

"Did I ask you Vegeta? No, I didn't. So Bulma, how about it."

"Sure, why not?" Bulma noticed Trunks playing around and cooing in Chi Chi's arms. "Has anyone ever told you how good you are with kids?"

"Aw, only because Aunt Chi Chi helped deliver the little devil. Isn't that right, Trunks?" she cooed.

"Bah!" Trunks said.

"Well I don't care what it is. You have a real affinity with kids. Have you ever thought of having any of your own?"

"Well, I feel my biological clock ticking, you know? But Goku's never home. Ever since he and Krillin captured Vegeta a year and a half ago, they became famous, and all kinds of people started hiring them. I almost wish he hadn't caught Vegeta; at least then he wouldn't keep running off for the next big case…oh, here's Trunks back. He misses his mother very much." Chi Chi handed Trunks back to Bulma.

"Did you give Auntie Chi Chi a hard time?" Bulma cooed to her son, "Let's go get you washed up, Mr. Man." She told Chi Chi, "I'll be right back," before disappearing into the bathroom.

Chi Chi pulled up a chair and looked out the window. "You know you could be a little grateful, Vegeta. I mean I did save your life."

"Says who? I don't answer to anyone."

"Oh, so you'd rather be dead right now?"

"No, I'd rather not depend on a woman for help."

"What about Bulma? She's a woman."

"She's different. You can't possibly compare yourself to her. Now leave me alone."

"Whatever, you big grump." She stared out the window, at nothing in particular, for a while. "Oh Kami, someone's coming. I gotta warn Bulma." She rushed out the door and almost ran into Raditz. "Raditz, someone's coming."

"I know. Dr. Briefs, Goku, and Baldy are on their way here."

"You go hide Vegeta somewhere; I'll go warn Bulma."

"But where?"

"Anywhere!" Chi Chi went to find Bulma, while Raditz searched for a suitable hiding place for her and Vegeta.

A couple of minutes later, Goku walked in the front door. "Chi Chi, I'm home!"

Chi Chi ran downstairs and tackled Goku. "Oh Goku, you big lug, where have you been? I was worried sick about you!"

"Uh, you were? Oh, I brought home a couple of guests." Dr Briefs and Krillin took their places beside Goku.

Chi Chi paled. "Oh, it's you."

Dr. Briefs cleared his throat. "Nice to see you again Chi Chi. Mind if I ask you a few questions?"

"Ask away."

"Are you harboring anyone here? Bulma and Vegeta, perhaps?"

"Why would you ask a silly thing like that?"

"Because I followed a blood trail from a nearby building and it led here."

"Uh, I think I remembering patching up someone, but they're long gone. As you can see, my house is spotless."

"You're lying, Chi Chi. I'll look for myself." Dr Briefs started for the stairs.

"Wait!" Chi Chi yelled, "You all must be famished by now. Let me cook you a nice hot meal."

"Ooh, food!" Goku drooled.

"Keep your mind on the mission, son. There'll be time for food later," Dr Briefs scolded.

"Aw, but I'm hungry."

"Later!"

"Oh, all right," Goku pouted. He headed up the stairs with Krillin and Dr. Briefs.

"Wait!" Chi Chi shouted again. "Are you sure you're not hungry? Are you thirsty? I can make some tea if you want."

Dr. Briefs walked up to Chi Chi. "What are you hiding, Missy?"

While Dr. Briefs interrogated Chi Chi, Oolong rushed into Goku's bedroom to tell the group of the news. "Hey guys, Chi Chi's buying some time down there, but you gotta hurry up! I don't think she can hold 'em off much longer."

"What do you think I'm trying to do?" Raditz asked from the wall, where he hung on by the sheets. "I can't just drop down; that would make too much noise. And then there's Vegeta and Trunks to think about. So lay off, would ya? I'm doing the best I can."

Oolong heard some footsteps stomping their way up the stairs. "Ohmykami they've found us! I don’t wanna die!" He started running around the room like a chicken with its head cut off, then dove under the bed.

Dr. Briefs, Goku, and Krillin walked in the room and their jaws dropped at what they saw. Chi Chi ran up behind them, obviously trying to stop them from finding Bulma and Vegeta.

"Chi Chi, how could you?" Goku asked, stunned his fiancée would even entertain the thought of harboring a criminal. " I trusted you."

"Stop bickering, Goku," Dr. Briefs ordered, "Vegeta's getting away!"

"Oh, right." Goku took the syringe from Dr. Briefs and charged for Vegeta. Before Vegeta could react, Bulma moved in front of him and took the injection for him. She passed out on the floor.

"No," Vegeta whispered, "What have you done to Bulma? YOU MONSTER!" He jumped on Goku and punched his face every which way it could go. He slumped over when Krillin injected the sedative via his back.

************************************************************************

"How could you do this to me?" Goku asked Chi Chi, from the other side of the window. "I trusted you, and you lied to me. We're over."

"'Over'? What planet are you from? We've been over for a year and a half."

Goku blinked. "We have?"

"You're darn right we have. You're never here for me anymore."

"But I was here, Chi Chi."

"Only to refuel! Sure, in the beginning it was good, but then capturing Vegeta gave you such a big head you had to inflate it even more with these stupid cases of yours!"

"But they were important. Just think of the innocent people I saved."

"Hoo-ray. Lucky for them. Meanwhile I'm stuck at home cooking and cleaning for a man who thinks I'm just a convenience store. If I could, I'd pull you through this window and lob you for all you're worth!"

"No you can't. You can't reach through the window. Even I know that. And for your information, I have a job. I can't just abandon it to spend every waking moment with you. Guards," Goku ordered, "Take her away."

"Wait, come back, Goku!" Chi Chi yelled as Goku walked away. "You haven't explained yourself! I'm not done with you yet!"

"Fine work, lad," Dr. Briefs greeted as Goku walked out the prison. "It's always the homely ones who deceive you."

"Thanks. Chi Chi just needs a few months in prison to think about what she's done. She's paying the price for lying, but honestly I don't think I want her back. I can't trust her anymore."

"Works out for both of us, then. I told you she was no good for you."

"Look, I wouldn't have broken up with her if I hadn't wanted to." Goku changed the subject. "So, how about that deal? You know, the one you made with Nappa?"

Dr. Briefs chuckled. "Let's just say the papers got mixed up. Nappa isn't getting out as soon as he thought." He went back inside to monitor Vegeta.

************************************************************************

"Hey Vegeta, ol' buddy ol' pal o' mine, nice to meetcha!" Nappa bellowed as soon as he saw Vegeta in the prison cafeteria. He sat down in front of Vegeta.

"Don't 'hey Vegeta' me," Vegeta growled. "I know what you did."

"What?"

"Yes. I overheard the whole thing while Briefs and his goons hauled me away. I was sedated, but I still overheard that little deal you made with the Devil."

"What deal? What'cha talkin' about?"

"You made a deal with Briefs to get out of prison early if you turned me in. Am I right?"

"No, you got it all wrong, I swear!"

"No, I think I got it all right. Here's what I think: you get busted, you cut the old man a deal: he gets you out early if you help him find me. You send Brolly after Raditz because you know he'd eventually find me, which helps you twofold: if Brolly fails to take me back alive, then he can just kill me, ridding yourself of this nasty obstacle on your way to ultimate power. Correct me if I got anything wrong."

"…Okay, you got me. But I only did it because you deserted us."

"Wrong. You couldn't wait 'til I left."

"B-but that part's wrong, Vegeta. I never meant to take your throne. They made me do it."

"'They'? Oh, I suppose 'they' made you take over the organization. I bet 'they' made you hunt down anyone not aligned with you. I bet 'they' made you send Brolly to kill me. I sense a pattern here. It's time I ended this game."

"How? You can't hurt me! You're all chained up with those Super Dooper chains or whatever Briefs said."

"I may not be able to break out of prison, but I'm more than able to kill you." With that, Vegeta broke off one of the table's legs and stabbed Nappa in the neck, leaving him to die a messy death.

Vegeta saw the crowd watching him and said out loud, "Let this be a lesson to all of you! This is what happens to those who cross me." He went back to his cell without another word.

Dr. Briefs looked away from the window overlooking the cafeteria and told the commissioner, "See? He just murdered in cold blood. He deserves to be executed."

"How shall he die? And when?"

"I want to try out my prototype electric chair. Vegeta shall be my first subject. And I want him executed in twelve hours. Yes, twelve sounds like a nice round number. Let him enjoy his last half-day of life." Dr. Briefs left the prison to attend to his wayward daughter.

************************************************************************

Dr. Briefs slapped Yamha's back heartily and asked, "So Yamcha, how's our lovely bride-to-be doing?"

Yamcha grumbled, "She isn't. She's been sulking ever since we got here."

"Don't you worry, my good man, I'll rectify that." Dr. Briefs walked over to where Bulma sat, fuming. "Bulma, my dear, what's wrong?"

"Don't you 'Bulma' me, father," she snapped, "I don’t wanna marry him and you know it. I'm only doing this for Trunks."

"You know I hate to do this to you, but I have no choice. My little grandbaby deserves better than a crime lord as his father. You know as well as I do that Yamcha will be a far better parent than that ruffian."

"You know I'll divorce Yamcha as soon as I get my son back."

"No you won't. The courts frown upon single mothers these days, and in the event of a divorce, I will be granted custody of little Trunks."

Unbeknownst to everyone, a little fly sat on one of the walls, watching everything. It flew out like nothing happened, then once it got out of sight, it changed back to Oolong. He grabbed the closest car and headed for the first Saiyan meeting place he could think of.

Oolong finally found the right building after what seemed like an eternity of searching through dead ends. He parked the car and ran inside.

"Hey Turles," Oolong shouted, "Where are ya? Yoo hoo, come out, come out, wherever you are!" As a last resort, he yelled, "The Great One Vegeta sent me!"

He heard a smooth voice yell, "Who is Vegeta's lover?"

"Bulma Briefs!"

Oolong saw a man who looked just like Goku, except for the dark skin, come out from behing a counter. "So you're Turles?" he asked.

"Who wants to know?"

"I do. Vegeta and Bulma are in big trouble and I need your help."

The man pulled out a chair for Oolong. "I'm Turles. Sit down and tell me what's going on."

"Wait, you tell me first. How did you know Bulma and O Great One are lovers? Even I didn't know that until a year an' a half ago."

"I'm observant. They had 'Lovers' written all over them for anyone with half a brain to see. I just never told anyone else, that's all. It's no one's business but theirs. Now tell me how you know me."

"I'm Vegeta's number one fan. I know everything there is to know about his gang. Now will you help me? Bulma and Vegeta and Raditz and Chi Chi are in big trouble. Old Man Briefs is marrying Bulma off to some sleazebag, Vegeta's getting executed, and Raditz and Chi Chi are in prison."

"Who's Chi Chi, and how do you know all this?"

"Bulma's friend, and I'm a shapeshifter and I changed into a fly but that's not important! What's important is we need to save them!"

"So, you got any ideas?"

Oolong facevaulted. "You mean you don't? Then what good are ya?"Oolong scratched his head. "Come on, Oolong, think! Think! This ain't no time to go brain dead!...I got it! We'll use the Dragon Balls!"

"The what?"

"You sure are stupid, ain'cha? The Dragon Balls can grant one wish and they're active right now, so break Bulma out and help her look for 'em. She'll do the rest."

"Fine, but where is she?"

"Follow the skid marks to a small white church. You can't miss it." Oolong ushered Turles out the building and shooed him off.

************************************************************************

"Do you, Yamcha, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" the priest asked Yamcha.

"Yeah yeah, of course I do, now get on with it."

"Do you, Bulma Briefs, take this man as your lawfully wedded husband?"

Before Bulma could answer, a tall, dark-skinned man resembling Goku stormed in and carted Bulma off, ignoring the loud protests of the crowd. He put her in the drivers seat and cranked the car. "I don't know wherther to thank you or slap you." Bulma said as she took off. "Who are you, and why do you look like Goku?"

"My name's Turles, and I am one of Goku's brothers." Turles saw the questioning look on Bulma's face. "Raditz being the other."

"Whoa, you coulda knocked me over with a feather. So why are you here?"

"There's some pig named Oolong who said you were in trouble. He wants you to find the Dragon Balls."

"Wait, are they even active right now?…Of course they are; it's been more than a year since they were last used." Bulma took a detour to the Capsule Corporation compound and got out.

"Wait, where are you going? Aren't you going to help your friends?"

"I am. I need to get the Dragon Radar first."

************************************************************************

A big, fat, stubbly guard walked up to Vegeta's cell with a tray of food and slid it in. "Enjoy it, big shot. It's your last meal."

Vegeta poked at his food. "I know."

The guard stammered, "B—but..?"

"A man like me won't be allowed to live. So when is it?"

"Uh…eight hours. Enjoy it while it lasts." The guard left Vegeta to ponder over his impending death.

************************************************************************

Turles surfaced from the water after fighting with a huge fish for what seemed like an eternity. He held the Dragon Ball high in the air. "Two down, five to go!" he cheered. "So where's the next one?"

Bulma checked her Dragon Radar. "Lets see… about a hundred miles to the north."

"Well let's get going! We don't know when Vegeta'll be executed." Turles put the Dragon Ball safely in Bulma's pouch and floored it.

************************************************************************

An elderly man stepped into Vegeta's cell, holding a holy book. "Hello, Mr. Oujisama, my name is Father Richards and I'm here to give you your last rites."

"Leave me alone. I don't need saving."

"That's what all condemned men say in their hour of death. Here, let me bless you." The priest kneeled before Vegeta and bowed his head. "May the great gods Kami-sama and Enma-sama above bless you with peace in your next life." He clapped his hands, bowed, and left.

************************************************************************

"So where's the last one?" Turles asked urgently as he drove through the desert.

"We're almost right on it," Bulma answered.

"This Oolong said the Dragon Balls can grant wishes. So what'll you wish for?"

"What else? For me and Vegeta to disappear."

"What about everyone else?"

"Oh…I guess I forgot." Bulma scrunched her eyebrows, obviously thinking deeply about something.

"What'cha thinking of, Bulma?"

"How to best phrase my wish. The Eternal Dragon, Shenron, is very exact, and if I get even one word wrong, I could end up in oblivion." After a while, Bulma snapped her fingers. "I got it!"

**********************************************************************

Vegeta stared straight ahead as he marched to the electric chair, flanked on both sides by heavy guards. Dr. Briefs stopped in front of him and asked, "Any last words?"

Vegeta stayed silent.

"You know you brought this on yourself. If you hadn't tried to break down the moral fiber and corrupt my Bulma, you wouldn't be here today."

"Whatever. Get out of my way. I have a date with eternity," Vegeta said as he marched on.

************************************************************************

"Great dragon Shenron, I summon you!" Bulma shouted as she sat the last dragon Ball down. "Come out and grant my wish!"

Suddenly, a wide trail of lightning shot up into the sky, to be replaced with a huge, geen, serpentine dragon. Bulma and Turles gaped in awe as the dragon thundered, "Who has awakened me? Speak now and tell me your wish!"

Bulma hesitated for a moment.

"I AM LOSING MY PATIENCE!" Shenron roared.

"Um…what was it? Oh, I remember. Shenron!" Bulma called out, "I wish for me and all my allies to disappear to somewhere livable where my father can never find us!"

************************************************************************

The guards strapped Vegeta nice and snugly to the electric chair, using Dr. Briefs' latest technology to make sure he couldn't escape. Dr. Briefs stood in front of Vegeta again. "Vegeta, whatever the afterlife holds, I sincerely hope it's as excruciating for you as possible."

"Same for you," Vegeta said as one of the guards applied the electrodes to his body.

************************************************************************

The dragon's read eyes glowed as he processed Bulma's wish. He roared and growled out, "Your wish has been granted!"

************************************************************************

"Flip the switch!" Dr. Briefs ordered. The blinding lights the 10, 000 volts produced was enough to make Dr. Briefs and all the guards look away. Not a sound could be heard, except for the crackling of electricity. When the smoke disappeared, to Dr. Briefs' horror, he saw absolutely nothing in the chair; no charred body, no ashes, not even an outline. Vegeta was simply…gone.

************************************************************************

"And then what happened, Dad?" a lavender haired young boy asked his father.

"And then I disappeared," Vegeta explained to his son, Trunks, "Along with your mother, you, and everyone who aided us."

"And that is?"

"Oolong, Raditz, Turles, and that harpy Bulma calls her friend, Chi Chi, though I must admire her courage for standing up to your grandfather the way she did."

"So what happened to them?"

"I don't know. Seven years have passed since then and your mother still hasn't been able to find them. My guess is they either don't want to be found, or Shenron dumped them on different planets."

"Where did he dump us?"

"Where do you think? On this planet, wherever it is. At least it's not Earth. We were fortunate that Shenron decided to keep the three of us together."

"And whatever happened to Grandpa?"

"I have no idea, and I don't care to find out. All that matters is he can never find us. He can't even travel into space yet. As far as he knows, we're all dead. Of course, he could build a spaceship and hunt us down; after all, who do you think your mother's genius came from? Not her mother, from what she tells me."

"Oh, so that's why you and Mom never got married! It would attract too much attention if you did! So is that it?"

Vegeta gaped at his son, amazed he already knew that he and Bulma never married.

"That is really none of your business, young man," Bulma scolded as she walked into the living room, "Besides it's your bedtime. You better get going if you don't want to miss school tomorrow."

"Aw Mom," Trunks whined, "Do I have to?"

"Yes, now get going."

Trunks moped his way up the stairs, but before he reached the top, he yelled, "Dad!"

"Yes, son?" Vegeta asked.

"When I grow up, I wanna be just like you!"