"Silence Her With My Tongue"
By: Rev Kurame

The day was lovely. Outside the grass moved in billowing waves like the sea. The sun reflected off the dew on the green carpet, giving it a brilliant emerald sheen. ‘Oh, God,’ Bulma rolled her eyes. The day was positively dripping with gooey happiness. She brought her knees to her chest and turned the page of her novel. ‘Ah…nothing like spending the day with a good book…inside.’ A noise caught her ear. ‘Oh no, could it be?’ Once more she rolled her eyes as the irritating noise grew closer.

Chi Chi, Bulma’s slightly younger cousin waltzes into the room, the song still on her lips, a parcel clutched in her hand. Bulma looked up annoyed. "Do you mind?" "What’s that, Bulma?" Bulma opened her mouth to repeat herself in her iciest voice but the words never left her mouth. "Would you like to see what I go today?" "Actually-" "Wonderful!" Chi Chi hummed an old folksong, one that Bulma remembered from childhood. Chi Chi had come to live with the wealthy Briefs family when her own family had taken ill and died. Now, the aging but still spirited Lord Briefs looked after Chi Chi as his own daughter. Bulma narrowed her eyes. Sometimes it seemed that Chi Chi was favored over Lord Briefs own flesh and blood, namely Bulma herself. "Your mother took me shopping again today and I purchased this wonderful gown. Don’t you think it’s ever so elegant?" Chi Chi giggled. Bulma turned towards her, a bored look on her face. "Dear, it looks like ever other dratted gown you have. What use will this one be but for curtains?" She gave a sickeningly sweet smile before turning back to her novel. "Oh, Bulma. Whatever will we do with you?" Bulma snarled but it went unnoticed. Chi Chi sighed and leaned one delicate hand upon her cheek. "Honestly, I have suitors that line up for days…. But, you… Don’t you ever get lonely?" Bulma gave her a withering look. "Don’t you ever get tired?" Chi Chi giggled. "Tired of what?" "Tired of being brain dead." Chi Chi huffed, gathered up her parcel and headed out of the room. ‘Ah, peace and quiet’ Bulma sighed. ‘Now, where was I?’ The gallant man rode up and his horse. His true love set the beating of his heart; it kept him moving… Bulma sighed and looked out the window. As if such silly things existed… But still, it was nice to dream…

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A tall, young man strode into the dimly lit tavern. He stomped the mud off his boots before heading to a familiar face at the bar. "I saw the most glorious girl today…" "Oh, stop. Not this again. To you, every girl is glorious." "No, I mean it this time. She was the loveliest thing I’ve ever seen.." "Blah, blah, blah… did she have a generous chest?" "Uh…not really." "Then she’s not worth the trouble. "That’s not a very good outlook." "What are you talking about? I have the best outlook. Big chest, big purse. You like useless women, Kakarott." "Not true. Well, it’s better than going after women for their money." "But who will be the success in the end, fool?" Kakarott laughed. "We’ll see, friend." The two men nursed their drinks as they sat watching the fire in the corner of the room.

Kakarott looked over at his companion. "But she had raven black hair like night and dark eyes…" The other man smacked himself in the forehead. "I thought I told you ‘no.’ Please, spare me." The men looked up when they noticed a new party enter the tavern.

"We’ll have four ales." The group sat at the cluster of tables by Kakarott and the man. One of the men settled into a large armchair. "Oi. That Chi Chi is a real looker, eh?" His friend laughed. "Hortensio (the guys’ REAL name from the play), you’ll never get near her. You heard what Lord Briefs said." "What did he say?" Kakarott asked eagerly. ‘They speak of my love, the fair Chi Chi.’ "Why are you interested?" asked another man. Kakarott looked dumbfounded yet his companion salvaged the situation easily. "We are all men here. My friend and I are simply travelling bachelors. I myself, am from Verona. You know, we’re always keeping an ear open for the latest ‘conquests.’" He snickered maliciously. The men at the table followed suit. "What brings you to Padua?" Hortensio asked, eyeing Kakarot suspiciously. The man from Verona drained his tankard. He shrugged. "A good lay. Preferably a rich one." Hortensio’s companion, Gremio(a REAL name from the play) looked at him interested. "Perhaps you could be the one to solve our friend, Hortensio’s problems." "Oh, pray, tell me your troubles, friend." The man asked with a smirk. "The fair Chi Chi cannot wed until her cousin Bulma weds." Kakarott’s eyes grew wide. "And how does this concern me?" His well-chiseled companion inquired with calculating eyes. "Bulma’s father is the richest in the land and her dowry is QUITE large if you catch my meaning." He nodded his head for the man to continue. "The only trouble is…" He looked to the floor, searching the words. The man of Verona’s eyes narrowed as he lost his patience in the silence. "Out with it." "Well, to be perfectly frank. Bulma Briefs is a shrew." The man from Verona threw his head back and laughed. "Is that all?" he asked with a tilt of his head.

The four men looked at each nervously. Hortensio was the first to recover. He stood up a smug look on his face. "So, you think you can tame the shrew?" "I’ve broken horses, made friendly bitter old barons, conquered enemies, surely I can tame ONE woman." Hortensio’s friend stood. "But THIS is Bulma Briefs. The very devil of a shrew that makes her suitors run in terror." "Terror? Why, is she terribly ugly?" "Only her tongue." "Then I will silence her with MY tongue." He gave a deep throated laugh as he looked back at Kakarott who had been watching the whole scene deep in troubled thought. "Eh, Kakarott? How does this new conquest sound to you, old friend?" Kakarott looked up from the ground. "Huh?" He came back to reality with a huge grin. "Uh…it’ll almost be as good as that time with the pretty young nun from that convent in Florence…" Kakarott’s friend chuckled. "Now THAT was a good time. Poor thing though…" A wicked grin donned his finely chiseled face. Hortensio looked from his friend to the evilly mischievous stranger from Verona and a grin broke out on his face. "You’re perfect for the job." The man’s mood quickly faded to black. "I’m not doing this for YOU, fool. Go conquer your own women. I’m off to have some fun with this shrew….." He smirked. "Coming, Kakarott." "Uh, yeah." Kakarott slide off the stool to follow his friend.

Hortensio watched the pair walk to the door. He called after the short yet well built man. "Hey, friend. What is your name? Or shall we call you ‘Tamer of the Shrew’?" The man chuckled as he reached for the handle of the door. "I am Vejita Petruchio and this is my companion, Kakarott Lucentio. Trust me, you will be seeing us around for awhile to come. Perhaps, at a wedding?" Hortensio and the men at table broke out into laughter. "We shall see, Vejita Petruchio. We shall see whether it will be a wedding…or your funeral." They then broke out laughing again as Vejita and his tall comrade, Kakarott, left the tavern.

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